Can we agree in prayer when we don’t agree in person? {how to avoid yanking prayer}

What should our prayer focus be this month?

I asked Jeff this question, my fingers poised on my laptop, waiting for his response. Often, he doesn’t have strong opinions on things, but this time he had a clear answer right away:

Guidance.

Ah, yes. Guidance. We sent out the emailing inviting folks from our church family to gather and seek God together for guidance. And we let people know that if they were facing a situation where they needed God’s guidance, His direction, to let us know and we’d pray for them.

The very next morning, I was struck by the day’s Bible reading:

“Ah, stubborn children,” declares the LORD, who carry out a plan, but not mine, and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin; who set out to go down to Egypt, without asking for my direction, to take refuge in the protection of Pharaoh and to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt! … Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help and rely on horses, who trust in chariots because they are many and in horsemen because they are very strong, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel or consult the LORD! … The Egyptians are man and not God, and their horses are flesh, and not spirit.

—Isaiah 30:1-2, 31:1

In various places in those chapters it repeats again and again, Wait on the LORD. Rather than waiting on Him, they rushed ahead and took refuge in Egypt, making their own plan, trusting in what they could see instead of their God. What a warning!

This resonated deeply with me, as I had already sensed God saying to wait on Him. As I prayed through this, I kept seeing a picture of the Israelites, beside the Red Sea. God deliberately leads them into an impossible place:

“Then the LORD said to Moses, ‘Tell the people of Israel to turn back and encamp in front of Pi-hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea, in front of Baal-zephon; you shall encamp facing it, by the sea”

—Exodus 14:1-2

And in this impossible place, they wait. And we all know the story. Deliverance!

So we all resonate on one level with feeling like we’re stuck, or facing some impossible situation, and we don’t know what to do. So of course it’s easy for us to pray together in agreement!

But then … is it?

As I contemplated us all praying together, I have to admit, I had a bit of trepidation:

How do we all agree in prayer if we don’t all agree in person?

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are a few varying perspectives on things these days. 😉 I am grateful that in our church family we have a very diverse mix of perspectives and viewpoints. While it has created a challenging past 18 months, I’m now honestly at a place where I’m grateful. I have learned a lot from people who see things differently.

But prayer can be tricky. It’s intensely personal. I remember nearly a decade ago, a gal left our church because she said our theological disagreement related to healing made it so we couldn’t pray in agreement together. I totally respect her perspective on that, and can understand how she felt. I blessed her as she found another church home.

But right now it seems there are many issues on which faithful believers disagree. At our house church recently, I sort of held my breath as we gathered in prayer, realizing that what some would see as a praise, others might see as terrible news, and vice versa.

And yet … as I sat there and watched I saw a beautiful thing unfold.

Genuine love. Unity. Comeraderie. Spirit-filled, agreement in prayer.

One person’s prayer request, I knew, ran counter to what some others would perceive as good. And yet, the others genuinely empathized, and lifted up heartfelt prayer. And it wasn’t shallow or fake, and also wasn’t what I call “yanking prayer” where we say a prayer but we’re really trying to yank the direction or focus over into what we believe is right. (Jeff jokes that pastors are great at this, “Lord, what my brother really means is that …”)

There was no yanking prayer!

I went to women’s Bible study, same thing — no yanking prayer!

We had our prayer meeting praying for direction — no yanking prayer!

And later, there was a remarkable answer to prayer, that even though one person’s perspective was perhaps different than some others, there was no doubt that God has come through in mighty ways on their behalf, and we can all rejoice over that! God knows the needs of His people!

Maybe what frees us from yanking prayer is the knowledge that God is big enough to handle all this. (FWIW: Certainly there is a place for loving confrontation, challenging people or appealing to them if we think they are in dangerous error or going astray. But group-prayer is not the place to do this.)

Here’s what I noticed: When we pray God’s Word, it’s usually not hard to be in agreement, even if we don’t agree on every current issue. If I’m lifting up a sister, regardless of whether I agree with her or not,

:: I can pray that she will be submitted to Christ in every area of life.

:: I can pray that she will know the truth.

:: I can pray that she will hear God’s voice clearly, and that God will direct her steps.

:: I can pray she will obey the Word of God and find light for her path.

:: I can pray that she will be free from fear and anxiety.

:: I can pray that she will love her neighbor as herself.

:: I can pray for God’s grace to be sufficient in her weakness.

:: I can pray she will be patient and long-suffering.

:: I can pray she will unwavering in her faith.

:: I can pray that God will provide everything she needs for life and godliness.

:: I can pray that she will open her mouth and proclaim to the good news of the gospel.

:: I can pray that as she seeks God’s kingdom first that all the things will be added to her.

:: I can pray for courage, wisdom, clarity.

:: Just as I pray for myself, I can pray she will kept from any error or deception.

:: I can pray she will have strength to resist temptation.

:: I can pray that her mind will be set on what is excellent, virtuous, and praiseworthy.

….I mean we could go on and on, right? When are are truly for people, we really won’t have a hard time thinking of lots and lots and lots and lots of great things to pray for them!

The challenge, at least for me, is when I’m overly devoted to my own perspective, I have a hard time setting it aside long enough to just pray God’s good Word over someone.

But I’m learning. I’m so incredibly grateful for my community where I get to witness godly men and women agree in prayer, even if we don’t agree on every issue. Lord, let your Kingdom come!