I am happy to report that at 4 1/2 years old, Heidi is officially done with thumb-sucking. Re-reading this convicted me though, and I’ve made some personal changes to break my own thumb sucking habits. You know what? It’s freeing! (More on that later.) Read and ask God to show you what your thumb is, and how to turn to Him instead…
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The first time she found it, I cheered. When she was two months old I was thrilled she’d learned the age-old self-soothe method that enabled her to fall asleep on her own: Sucking her thumb.
But now she’s 3. Almost 3 1/2. I don’t mind that it goes in when she needs to fall asleep. Fine. But I noticed now it goes in when she’s stressed. Or upset. Or if she needs to be particularly quiet or patient. I know this is a ridiculous exaggeration but sometimes I think she draws on that thumb like a chain smoker on a cigarette.
Unfortunately, sometimes I recognize that same behavior in myself. The other day I finished a stressful situation, walked into the kitchen, and opened the fridge. Then I stopped and thought: Why? It wasn’t mealtime and I wasn’t hungry.
I was sucking my thumb.
There’s nothing wrong with a toddler sucking her thumb. In fact, as an infant it’s a helpful behavior. But there’s a time when the toddler must grow up, right?
Right.
And whether it’s a thumb, a chocolate bar, or a cigarette — all can be self-soothe methods we might need to outgrow. So the first question to ask our Loving Father is,
“What is my thumb?”
Because maturity is learning to quit sucking our thumbs and start depending on God. Maturity is when we leave behind our childish ways–that of leaning on status, substances, and self–and begin letting every stressful situation drive us to the throne of grace, drive us to our knees in prayer, drive us to a greater and greater dependency on the power of God’s Spirit to rule our life.
Almost anything can be our “thumb” — social media, entertainment, phones, food, alcohol, attention, exercise, self-focus. I’m sure you could add a few to the list from your own experience.
But what if we quit self-soothing and started throwing ourselves at His feet?
What if we let ourselves “fall apart” a bit more so that God’s Spirit could actually come and make us whole? Put us back together, better than ever before?
There are absolutely helpful behaviors that help us work through stress. I’m not implying that any of those are wrong. A great choice might be a good run where you can listen to worship music, or a long walk where you can pour my heart out to God. Things that help us engage in, turn to God, and work through a situation are great; but behaviors that make us escape a situation and turn away from God will never help us work through it and find growth, healing, wholeness.
When Heidi was struggling with her thumb I would gently but firmly pulling down her hand, with a smile and a kiss: “Sweetie-girl, you don’t need your thumb.”
Perhaps we need to remind ourselves too. When we find ourselves turning back to that thumb of self-soothing …
Sweetie-girl, you don’t need ______ _____________.
Instead, perhaps lift your hands (and thumbs) to Jesus and find mercy and grace in our time of need.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb. 4:16)
Thanks for reading.
