Backstage

I looked back over the list. I didn’t want to mess this up. Adult STL … that’s my cue. I’m the Adult on Stage Left. I just need to pay attention, remember my jobs, don’t crash into any cast member with the benches. Don’t let the backdrop get caught on the hooks. 

Heidi is currently in her 6th show with CYT and this is my 6th show working backstage. I love the job. To me, it’s such a privilege to see all the behind the scenes, even if it isn’t always pretty. 

As crew backstage, we get to see the mad scramble for Seth’s missing set-piece. We get to see how he made due without it and still carried the scene. We get to see how Zach stepped in to help when we were short-handed, how Dylan hustles to make that quick-change. We get to see little huddles of 3’s and 4’s praying for each other before the show starts. 

What we don’t get to see? 

The show.

Of course we get bits and pieces. We hear the music. We sing along offstage, we laugh at the funny lines and silently celebrate when someone nails their song. We high-five when we get a set-change done flawlessly. It’s fun.

But it’s not the same as seeing the show. 

It’s rewarding in its own way, but honestly: Sometimes it can get tiring going the same unseen task, again and again and again. Silent. Invisible. Often-times, if we’re putting something far downstage, we set pieces that we never even see used. We just have this long list of things to do, and we might not have any idea what the actual finished product looks like.

This isn’t just true for crew, it’s also true for cast. No matter what your role, no cast member gets to see the whole show. They don’t see what’s behind them. They don’t see the scenes they aren’t in. They get bits and pieces. They learn their lines, their cues, their dances. 

But no one in the show gets to see it all together right before their eyes. 

For every show, I book my own ticket to watch for the final show. It’s like my reward for a full two weekends working backstage. And by then, my own appreciation for the hard-work backstage is at its full height! By this time, even as I watch the show I’m silently praying the crew kids can make all their changes. I’m praying Heidi gets her quick-mic-change in time. And I’m awed and amazed, often to tears, to see how it all works together.

Oh THAT’s what that scene is all about. Oh THAT’s why we put that backdrop there. Oh THAT”s why it has to be exactly so and so. 

Now I see. 

There were a couple hard things today. Jeff sent me a photo of my mom and I wished more than anything she were there. Oh man she’d love this show. And my thoughts swirled to various things I was facing, and also to her life and how she navigated the hard stuff. 

So much we don’t see. 

As followers of Jesus in His Kingdom, we’re all cast and crew members. I picture angels as the audience, and we’ll join them once we’re glory. They see it. They can see what’s going on. They know why it’s so important that we forgive this person. Why we HAVE to keep our mouth shuts in certain situations. Why God puts different people in different places for different seasons. Why we’re supposed to sing this harmony but not that one. 

We’re not the Director. We do as we’re told, and trust that it’s what’s best. 

Sometimes we get weary, yes? Just me? We try to remember that we’re not the Director of this show. There is only One. And we haven’t been given a ticket just yet to see the fullness of how this is all working together. This Kingdom thing.

And so we work and wait and trust. We believe that a good Director is giving us the right cues. That if we are faithful with our part, He will work something together for good that is beautiful.

And someday we’ll wake up, and it’ll be the most glorious show. Heavenly popcorn and all our beloved people and we will get to watch as the Director of the World unveils His Show. Beaming, giddy with delight, He announces:

THIS, my children, is what I was doing all along! Watch and see!

And the film will roll. And we’ll see it in its glorious whole, we’ll see the part we played, we’ll see why it mattered. We’ll laugh and cry and go, “Oh yes, remember that time?! So THAT’s what was going on! I was so confused!”

It’s going to be good. God give us courage and grace to keep playing our part.