All posts by Kari

Today is a rare occasion: It’s been a mostly Plan A day (which is why I’m curled up under a blanket with time to write this post!).

Our days rarely go exactly as planned, right? We know this.  Perhaps the most crucial character trait for any homeschooling parent is the ability to adjust, reconfigure, and creatively course-correct again and again and again (and again!). 

I’ll just tell you straight up–tossing a toddler into the mix of our life has thrown me for a major loop.

The baby-stage was mostly a breeze, but since we dropped the morning nap and he transitioned from snuggly baby to busy-never-sitting-still-crawling-onto-the-counter-emptying-every-cupboard-playing-in-the-toilet-every-time-I-turn-around-needing-constant-training-toddler I have had a hard time figuring out how to order our day effectively. (Advice welcomed!)

So, since “Plan A” days became so rare, I went ahead and posted “Plan B” in our house, just so we all knew what to do.

So far that’s the one thing that’s working well. My children are very kind and they’re alive. Yes! 

But even though “Plan A” doesn’t happen exactly, for me it’s still immensely helpful to have a rough outline of where we’re going each day.

It isn’t about following it exactly, but it does give us a guide. 

Honestly, I still feel pretty scattered.

Juggling a teen and a tween and a toddler along and my writing and speaking commitments, with what feels like loads of food prep (we love healthy food), and wanting to love and serve my husband and my parents and the precious people around me in our various spheres, I feel like I’m rarely giving anyone the attention they deserve.

But. God is so gracious, He gives us new mercies each morning, and I wouldn’t trade the details of my life for anything in the world. They go something like this… {Read the rest over at Simple Homeschool! Thanks!}

“….let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance…”

Heb. 12:1

I read the text over and over that week, considering the familiar passage and asking God again and again for insight–What are my weights?

The pain in my neck provided the perfect illustration. Earlier that week we had wanted to head outside on a beautiful sunny day. Justice is nearly 30 lbs so he’s a beast to carry around, but we have a hefty backpack carrier that Jeff uses. I had never used it before, but figured I could handle it for a short hike. How heavy could it be? I slid it out of the closet, hefted Justice over the top and down into the harness, buckled him in, then squatted down and eased the straps over my shoulders, then stood up.

Good grief he’s heavy, I thought. I pulled the waist straps tighter, shifted to try to adjust the weight down instead of pulling painfully on my neck. It’ll be fine.

We hiked, up and down hills and the whole time I’m just thinking, Good grief this kid weighs a ton! We kept it short because I couldn’t endure much longer. By the end my neck burned, my head ached, and I was just relieved to be done. That night I told Jeff about our little excursion and told him how much I admired that he could handle carrying that heavyweight around all the time!

The next morning Jeff made a humorous discovery: He’d accidentally left his huge study Bible in the front compartment of the backpack carrier. After church he’d tucked it in there just to travel home, then forgotten it was there.

I rubbed my sore neck and shook my head–a little extra weight is no joke! It seems so little–just a book. A little extra here and there. But over the long haul of a hike it takes serious toll on your ability to endure! The truth is, I could have hiked a lot longer without that extra weight. And I’m sure there are lots of things that “weights” might be for us, but one I know for sure for me:

My preferences.

My preferences are weights, friends. All the things that I have to have, the things that I like to be just so. The demands, comforts, requirements that must be fulfilled in order to be happy.

Every time I add a “must have” item to my life, I add a weight.

I think of this anytime I’ve searched for a vacation house on VRBO or AirBnB. As you know, the more boxes you check as requirements, the narrower your options get.

I.e. the more preferences you have, the fewer options you have.

Every box I check drastically reduces my options. It actually limits me.

My preferences limit my freedom.

Now please hear me, I’m not saying checking boxes is evil. Just adding a baby to our mix has limited our options because there are occupancy limits, that’s certainly not a bad thing! Indeed there are options that aren’t good for us. We’re wise to opt out of those things. But when there are so many things that I have to have just so, and you know what?

They drastically reduce my options.

Sure, we who have the privilege of wealth (which we all do) can afford to make a lot of those preferences a reality, but the principle is still the same. Everything I have to have in order to be satisfied comes back to bite me because it limits my freedom. It goes back to the Wide Joy thing…Every requirement I place on life closes that gap a notch more, narrowing the slice of life where I’m actually content.

It’s such a strange thing–our freedom can enslave us. Because we can become so accustomed to things being just so that we aren’t free to run with endurance. Our carry-on bag is too big!

Please hear me too, this isn’t just pointing fingers at people with money. I know wealthy people who purposefully live well below their means, on purpose. They haven’t kept checking additional boxes with every new raise. I admire them so much.

And of course it’s not only about money. But I can’t help but think of that haunting eye of the needle. Right? Jesus pulls no punches when he’s talking to the rich young ruler and that ruler didn’t have the freedom to follow Jesus because he had too many boxes checked. Too many preferences. He had to have his stuff. This and that thing were too near and dear to him. When he figured in all the amenities he had to have, there were no eternal options left for him. And that’s when Jesus speaks those haunting words,

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.

Matt 19:24, Mark 10:25, Luke 18:25

The disciples were “exceedingly astonished” at this, of course. They cried out the same thing I’d cry out, “Then who on earth can possibly be saved??” They clearly recognize how dire the situation is. And Jesus assures them that with God all things are possible.

And of course this isn’t a command for all people, that’s not the point. The point IS, if Jesus asks me to leave everything behind to follow Him, would I? And how do I know that unless I’m willing today to lay down my preferences? I’m fooling myself if I cling to my “have to have” list but still somehow think that I’d respond differently than that dear young ruler who walked away sad.

Right after he walked away the disciples point out that they have left everything. And Jesus assures them that nothing is lost. Everything they’ve left behind. All the boxes that they’ve UNCHECKED in order to follow Jesus, all those things will be added back to them.

We’re not given details, but Jesus is saying,

“Don’t worry. All that stuff you ‘lost’? It’ll be worth it.”

I’ll tell you straight up–that eye of the needle thing haunts me. Camels are big. Needle-eyes are small. Lord, please do the miraculous work of helping us first-world folks to love you more than anything. Please save us from the fate of the rich young ruler. Please help us lay aside weights so we can finish well. With man this is impossible but with You all things are possible.

Thanks for reading.

I paused, considering, then answered:

“Sure, I think going fishing sounds great and I’d love to go with you. We can do that after dinner, once we get our stuff put away.”

The child let out a little sigh,

“No, that’s ok. I don’t want to go fishing later. I only want to go right now.”

I smiled. I know that attitude. It’s the same I often sport, the same one a different child had donned just moments ago when she sighed about the dinner menu. She had hoped for bean burritos, not chicken legs.

Downcast face. *sigh*

I smiled, and told them I had a secret to share with them. A secret that would serve them well all their days if they’d remember it. They leaned in a little, a bit skeptical, but willing to listen.

I held my hands up in front of me, palms closed together like a prayer posture, then separated them about 4 inches apart.

“See this sliver here, between my hands. This narrow space between my palms represents all the things that are exactly as we want them to be. This is getting to fish at precisely the moment we have the urge, this is the meal we most want, this is the game I want to play, the plans I want to keep, the way I want it to go. This represents the circumstances I must have in order to be happy.

When I have high preferences, picky tastes, particular wants, I narrow down this slice of life with which I can be happy. My joy becomes very narrow. Every time I narrow in on what I want, I exclude more and more of life that I’ll be eligible to enjoy. Pretty soon, there isn’t much left. That’s narrow joy.

They were listening. Then I slowly widened my hands, out, out, out, until my arms were stretched wide, as far as I could reach, palms no longer facing inward, but stretched out, like a giant embrace of life. I smiled into their faces.

THIS is what happens when we let go of our high preferences, our picky tastes, our particular wants. This is what happens when we say, “Well, this isn’t my favorite food, but I’m so glad I get to eat. It’ll do just fine.” When we say, “Well, I’d love to this activity now, but I’m grateful I’ll get to do it at all.” When we say, “That’s not the way I’d like it done, but I’m grateful we get to do it together, and it’s better than being alone.”

This is what happens when we decide that no matter what way it happens, we’ll be grateful. We’ll make do. This makes all of life eligible as a source of joy. This means circumstances can vary widely without depleting our joy. This is WIDE JOY.

They understood. And so did I. And we munched our meal with gladness, and fished ’til past bedtime, and we will continue to pursue wide joy with all our hearts.

{Thanks for reading.}

“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.”

Philippians 4:12

We say it all the time: “You/I need to surrender to God.”

We sing about it.  It might just be one of our most oft-repeated phrases, in our spiritual conversations with each other. My own book sure contains references to it!

But … to “surrender” (to God) does not appear in the Bible.

Ever.

In the entire Bible, there is not a single command, reference, even mention of surrendering to God. 

So why have I spent so much of my life exhorting others and myself to surrender to Him?!

To be fair to us all, I think it’s just an unfortunate misnomer, that’s gained acceptance over the years, for a concept that is in the Bible.

In short: The Bible never tells us to surrender to God because the word surrender is always, ALWAYS used in reference to an ENEMY. 

God is not our enemy.

God is NOT OUR ENEMY.

If there is one thing I have learned this year, through the various heart-ache and disappointments we faced, it is that GOD IS NOT MY ENEMY.

GOD IS FOR ME. Even the hard is for my good. 

I wish I could shout from a world-wide megaphone and somehow convey to this aching, bewildered, lost and hurting world: GOD IS FOR YOU!

God LOVES YOU!

God is not your enemy!

Just this morning Jeff read it in church:

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. (Rom 8:31-34)

Friends, I honestly believe that if we had ANY INKLING how FOR US God really is, we would never doubt, never fear, never struggle to trust. We would be mind-blown at His goodness.

We would fall on our faces in grateful adoration. 

Now, what words are in the Scriptures? From what I understand, the idea of surrender really comes from two concepts: Submit and obey.

Submit

James exhorts us to “Submit yourselves, therefore, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (4:7) The context is pride and worldliness. Interestingly, James says that although God is not our enemy, we can make ourselves enemies of God by befriending the world. But even then, the exhortation isn’t to surrender but to submit.

Is it just splitting hairs? I don’t think so. While surrender refers to an enemy, submit speaks of loving, voluntary, glad deference to a GOOD HEAD, a GOOD leader, a superior officer of sorts who is ON THE SAME SIDE. It’s always used with regard to two people on the same team. 

While surrender is always used of an enemy, submit is always used of a comrade or spouse. 

Because of Christ, and this is MIND-BLOWING, you are a friend of God. God is your Heavenly Husband. He’s a good one. He’s a GOOD leader who ALWAYS has your best interest in mind.

Submit actually doesn’t occur that often as well. James is the only one who uses it in reference to God. The other references are to fellow believers, spouses, or church leaders. The word that does occur a LOT, although it isn’t as popular nowadays, is obey.

Obey

This might be our culture’s least favorite word. I recently read about a popular children’s book where the plot-line was a girl who had to “overcome” a curse that over her that made her always obey any order given to her. Yikes! Obedience is called a curse?! Of course, obedience to evil is a curse, but in our day and age we’re almost afraid to use the word. We teach our children to be “good listeners” but if I can be so bold, I don’t think anything is wrong with their hearing, obedience is what our children desperately need!

And while surrender occurs zero times, obey and obedience occur 180 times!

Now, the bottom line of this is so significant I can’t help but get excited. While the word surrender carries connotations of an enemy, the words submit and obey carry the connotations of …

Loving relationship. 

Submit speaks of a loving husband-wife relationship, of friends and comrades, of voluntarily deferring to one another, out of love and mutual respect.

God is our husband and friend. 

Obey speaks of a parent-child relationship, of a loving dad giving good and beneficial boundaries to His children out of deep love for them.

God is our Father. 

Dear, dear one: God is not your enemy. It might be a subtle shift, but I pray it is a real one. I pray you know the loving leadership of a good God who is FOR YOU, who knows that your best life is found in Him, that apart from Him there is no joy, no good, nothing of any lasting value.

No surrender. Submit yourself to a loving God, and obey His good and loving leadership in your life.

{This is from Jan ’18–this one mental switch has made such a big impact in how I view God the last two years. I hope this frees you as well. Thanks for reading.}

Sacred Mundane available here! https://squareup.com/store/sacred-mundane

“Are we in a hurry??”

Dutch’s hackles are up anytime he sniffs out a hurry. I smile. Our Sunday morning routine is always the same. My answer is always the same.

“Nope. As long as you promptly obey me, there’s no rush.”

I kiss the top of his head and send him off to get ready. Funny boy. 

It’s a lesson I’ve reinforced more times than I can count: As long as you obey, there’s no rush. It’s the dawdling and disobedience that cause delays, that leave everyone scrambling to get out the door on time. He hates being hurried, I hate being late, so I’ve learned to give clear directions and adequate time, but also to insist that obedience is prompt.

Prompt obedience … was there ever a more important lesson to learn and more difficult to teach?

This simple principle has been a comfort to me recently, in far more significant ways. I’m reading Genesis again, and am always picking up tidbits of wisdom from Noah’s remarkable Ark adventure. This time around, I scribbled into the margin:

“As long as he obeyed, there was no hurry.”

See, God is SO GOOD at time management. 🙂 He was the only One who knew the exact day and time that the flood would come. Noah didn’t know. But God knew, and He allowed exactly the right allotment of time for Noah to build the ark, and gather the animals. Though the ark-building process was long, Noah stayed on track, diligent and obedient. As far as we know, he didn’t have to rush, stress, hurry, or frantically finish. As the time drew near, God told Noah that he had 7 days to gather the animals. Not a rush, but Noah would certainly need to stick to task in order to be ready on time.

No time for dawdling and disobedience. 

Sometimes I get these ideas, thoughts, dreams, of things God might do. It seems like a near-infinite number of tasks to complete, things we need to do, ways we need to prepare. We’ve wrestled through decisions on how to allocate time and financial resources, because a lot depends on a future we do not know.

But God knows. And recently, I was praying through all these things, and sensed this truth again:

As long as you obey, there is no hurry.

Quite frankly, it is impossible to prepare for a future you do not know. I don’t know what our country will be like, what the economy will be like, what my children’s educational needs will be, who all our property will need to house.  We do not know the future, so it’s futile to rely on our own limited knowledge in order to prepare.

But as long as we obey, there is no hurry. 

Perhaps the most critically important skill to learn, as a follower of Jesus, is prompt and unquestioning obedience.

Right??

Now, I still have far to go in teaching–and practicing–this, of course. But I was reminded the other day of a game I used to play when the kids were toddlers. During the day, I would practice giving them a command, out of the blue.

“Dutch, go touch the front door! Heidi bring me that blue block!”

Yes, they were arbitrary commands, but it was an opportunity for them to learn prompt obedience, and for me to praise their efforts, in an environment that wasn’t rushed, stressed, or public. And when they didn’t obey (which was plenty), we had ample time to practice. I had forgotten all about those little games, but the other day, a friend sent me a note:

I’m reading a book called Endurance: A Year in Space, A Lifetime of Discovery by astronaut Scott Kelly. It reminded me of you talking/writing about helping Dutch & Heidi learn obedience by having them go and touch the front door when you asked. This astronaut wrote, “It occurs to me now that following directions that seemed arbitrary was good early training for being an astronaut.” Besides faithful servants of the Lord, perhaps you have some astronauts in the making. 🙂

My kids and I are far from perfect in this area, of course, but what’s struck me recently is that there is comfort in obedience.

As long as I obey, there’s no rush. My Father has me on His Timeline. If I’m listening, He’ll tell me what to do and when. I don’t have to fear that I’ve missed it somehow. I don’t have to fear being unprepared for His call. As long as I have a heart inclined to obedience, I can rest. I can find comfort in that.

Anyone else need that reassurance???

Friend, take comfort in obedience. If you lean in close, kick sin to the curb and listen carefully to His Word, HE WILL LEAD YOU. He will light the way, make your path straight, and give you the step-by-step instructions that you need. There’s no rush. He’s a Good Father. You don’t have to have the future figured out, just promptly obey His voice today.

{Originally from Jan 2018–Thanks for reading.}

Sacred Mundane available here! https://squareup.com/store/sacred-mundane

Dear Dutch,

Happy 13th birthday. I know I’ve told you this before, but I never dreamed you would become so awesome! I just mean when you were little and wandering around in your Lightening McQueen underwear I never dreamed you would become a tall, handsome, smart, witty, funny, kind, generous, delightful young man who I SO enjoy being with!

I appreciate the ways that you help me so much. When you take care of the chickens, take out the garbage and recycling, help me with Justice, carry in groceries for me, all of these things SO help me. I can’t thank you enough, and I’m so proud of the way that you serve others. I appreciate how you help with set-up at church, and you do a great job running the slides for worship. You are capable and quick-witted, and you’ve become a huge help at church. You’re also so capable with Justice, which helps me so much. We really couldn’t do our Sunday mornings without you, Son. Thank you.

I also admire the way that you play and get along so well with your friends. [names] look up to so much. I love that you don’t treat them as younger, or look down on them, but you have a great way of entering in to whatever they’re into or bringing them into your world in ways that are appropriate for them. Truly, that is one of the most admirable things about you—you naturally adjust and are able to engage with people from 8-year-olds to 80-year-olds! 

I’m so grateful for your hard work as you’ve begun FCCT school this year. I really never dreamed you’d do this well! I’ve been so pleased at how you do your homework and tests each week without being asked! Wow! You’re a homeschool mama’s dream. 😉 Of course I don’t get to see how you act in class 😉 but your teachers say you are a delight to have in class, so I’m trusting that you are. Keep being a delight! 

I’m also proud of the way that you’ve grown in your kindness to Heidi. I’ve often seen you compromise or defer to her, and that is a sign of maturity. You’ve also begun to show some self-control in NOT saying every “funny” comment to her that comes to mind, and not blurting out corrections of Daddy in church. You’re growing in your understanding of appropriateness, context, and timing. Keep it up, Son! 

I’ve prayed so many prayers for you over the years and will continue. I thank God often for Brant Hansen—in so many ways he is an answer to my prayers over the year, and I’m so grateful you have a godly role model in him. I wholeheartedly approve! My prayers now continue: I pray you will be pure in mind and action, that you will fear the Lord and desire to never sin against Him (Gen. 39:9). I pray you will always use your strength to be a protector of the weak, a provider for anyone in need around you. I pray you will, even in your strength and courage, be always mindful of the weak or hurt or needy around you. I pray you will always seek to protect and care for the women in your life. And I pray you will always use your knowledge and skills to make the world a better place, even if just by sharing that knowledge with those around you.

Dutch, I’m so proud of you. Thank you for being the best son I could ever ask for (shhh, don’t tell Justice! I’m sure he’ll be awesome too.) Please know you can always talk to me, or at me. 😉 I pray God gives me a long life so I can watch you and learn from you for years to come. Above all, Son, stay humble. As you walk in humility, God will give you grace, and you will succeed in life by His grace. 

I love you,

Mom

Happy Monday, friends! This week only (12/9-12/15) we’re offering Sacred Mundane for the same price we offer it at conferences and retreats (half-off or more from Amazon’s price) with free shipping. This will get it to you in time for Christmas in case you want to bless someone with a bit of encouragement (even if that someone is yourself!). As always, 100% of my proceeds go to women and children through World Vision. So it’s a gift that blesses both ways! https://squareup.com/store/sacred-mundane

Can we intentionally forget something?

I know for certain I can forget things without the slightest bit of intention! It happens every day. But I also know that when I really need to, I can set my mind so purposefully that I won’t forget what’s most important.

Take travel, for instance. When we’re flying with the kids, I’m on my game. Passports and ID in a zipped pocket with boarding passes. Snacks and waterbottles within reach. Electronics charged.

I can focus my mind so that I won’t forget.

I never forget the things I know I can’t live without.

But does it work the other way around?

Can I be just as intentionally TO forget something? Or perhaps the question you’re asking, Why would I want to do that in the first place?

I was struck last week by a simple sentence in Hebrews 10:

I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.

Heb 10:17

I tend to associate forgetfulness with a loss of brain function. Like, anything that’s forgotten is an indication of mental deterioration. But clearly God’s not choosing to be dumber. He’s not deteriorating in the slightest.

He’s choosing to forget what has already been forgiven.

Can we do that?

I’m really asking the question. Do you think that we, who are made in the image of God, can intentionally choose to forget what has already been forgiven? What do you think?

I think we can try. I think we might be surprised how effective our brains are at losing sight of whatever we refuse to give attention to.

Whatever you ignore, you forget.

When Paul exhorts us, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things,” he’s giving us a powerful way to rewire our brains and intentionally focus our attention.

All that rotten, corrupt, twisted, perverse, base stuff out there? Forget it.

In my journal yesterday I wrote, “What do I do with the stuff that drives me crazy?

It was a real question.

And I know I’m walking a fine line here and I’m not saying you just ignore stuff.

But I am saying, maybe just a little bit: Ignore stuff. *smile*

I’m saying that it probably wouldn’t hurt to exercise our made-in-God’s-image-ness and follow His example and practice refusing to call to mind those things that have already been covered by the blood of Jesus. Those things that aren’t excellent and praiseworthy.

Strangely enough, I have found that I can intentionally ignore the things in my house that drive me crazy, and that over time, they don’t bother me anymore.

But again, our minds aren’t a vacuum. I must replace all that discouraging data with other data:

If we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sin, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries.

Heb. 10:26-27

That’s a terrifying verse, and I certainly don’t know how all this works. But do know that if I KNOW a truth, but intentionally ignore it, so that I can live however I want…I’m in danger.

Lord, help us REMEMBER TRUTH. Help us seek truth and cherish it and hold fast to it and NEVER FORGET what has been revealed to us, by Your grace. Let us lose the hyper-focus on all that makes us miserable and help us hyper-focus on all that YOU HAVE DONE for us.

I wonder what all our brains are capable of, as we yield them fully to God’s commands. It’s clear that “suppressing truth” (intentionally ignoring) leads to delusion, deception, and darkening (Romans 1). Then it seems to follow that focusing, with all our attention, on the truth of God, might help our minds more than anything.

Father, turn our eyes off worthless things, keep us from revisiting whatever would be best forgotten. Guide us into your truth and help us never forget who You are. {Thanks for reading.}

“Don’t have expectations.”

I’ve heard this, and said this, so many times. It’s an easy-answer that’s true but sometimes difficult to put into practice. We hit on it a little bit in the last post–we experience disappointment, or frustration, joylessness to be sure, when we shift from serving others to being served.

Often, when we experience disappointment, we chide ourselves (or are chided by others), “Remember, don’t have expectations.”

And that’s fine, but honestly, when I really seek to put this into practice, I’m like, “Wait a minute. How does one not have ANY expectations?”

I mean, part of having a brain is that we formulate hypotheses, we speculate, we plan, we think through things in the future. This is, I’d argue, a rather healthy part of cognition. When we schedule a trip, or an event, or even make plans for the weekend, there has to be SOME level of expectation. Inasmuch as you are planning, coordinating, thinking ahead, you are naturally creating some level of expectation.

In Sacred Mundane we talk about Expectancy vs. Expectation, and that has been an enormously helpful distinction for me, with regards to trusting God in difficult circumstances.

But just in terms of vacations, events, holidays, even things like birthdays or special days, it seems to be that the simple instruction, “Don’t have expectations” isn’t very helpful. Why?

Because your mind can’t just be a vacuum. You can’t just eliminate expectations and leave blank space rattling around in there. In fact, the more you focus on, “I won’t have expectations, I won’t have expectations, I won’t have expectations” the more you’ll focus on expectations! Or at least the more you’ll focus on self!

A better game-plan? Have big expectations!

Expect to whole-heartedly serve others, at every turn.

Expect to pour out your energy in loving, serving, giving, thanking, and being a blessing to whoever is in front you, for the sake of pleasing your King. Expect, on some level: There will be difficulty during this __[fill in the blank with the day/event/holiday/season___] and I fully expect God to meet my every need as I rely on Him and enable me to love and serve those around me.

As long as I’m focused on eliminating my expectations, or trying not to be disappointed, or trying to not “get my hopes up” or trying to insulate myself from pain, the focus is still on me.

Any way I slice it it’s still me focusing on me.

It’s so much more fun and effective to displace those self-centered expectations. There’s just no room for them when we fill our minds and hearts so full with focused energy to bless others. We aren’t even thinking about our expectations anymore because we aren’t thinking about “OUR” anything!

This may have zero application for you this holiday season. Maybe you, like me, have a genuinely joyful family and you’re just grateful to be together Awesome. But if the holidays do sometimes stir up any level of expectation or disappointment or sting or hurt or whatever, maybe this is a good game plan for you too. Hope it can be helpful. {Happy December. Thank you so much for reading.}