All posts by Kari

“Are we in a hurry??”

Dutch’s hackles are up anytime he sniffs out a hurry. I smile. Our Sunday morning routine is always the same. My answer is always the same.

“Nope. As long as you promptly obey me, there’s no rush.”

I kiss the top of his head and send him off to get ready. Funny boy. 

It’s a lesson I’ve reinforced more times than I can count: As long as you obey, there’s no rush. It’s the dawdling and disobedience that cause delays, that leave everyone scrambling to get out the door on time. He hates being hurried, I hate being late, so I’ve learned to give clear directions and adequate time, but also to insist that obedience is prompt.

Prompt obedience … was there ever a more important lesson to learn and more difficult to teach?

This simple principle has been a comfort to me recently, in far more significant ways. I’m reading Genesis again, and am always picking up tidbits of wisdom from Noah’s remarkable Ark adventure. This time around, I scribbled into the margin:

“As long as he obeyed, there was no hurry.”

See, God is SO GOOD at time management. 🙂 He was the only One who knew the exact day and time that the flood would come. Noah didn’t know. But God knew, and He allowed exactly the right allotment of time for Noah to build the ark, and gather the animals. Though the ark-building process was long, Noah stayed on track, diligent and obedient. As far as we know, he didn’t have to rush, stress, hurry, or frantically finish. As the time drew near, God told Noah that he had 7 days to gather the animals. Not a rush, but Noah would certainly need to stick to task in order to be ready on time.

No time for dawdling and disobedience. 

Sometimes I get these ideas, thoughts, dreams, of things God might do. It seems like a near-infinite number of tasks to complete, things we need to do, ways we need to prepare. We’ve wrestled through decisions on how to allocate time and financial resources, because a lot depends on a future we do not know.

But God knows. And recently, I was praying through all these things, and sensed this truth again:

As long as you obey, there is no hurry.

Quite frankly, it is impossible to prepare for a future you do not know. I don’t know what our country will be like, what the economy will be like, what my children’s educational needs will be, who all our property will need to house.  We do not know the future, so it’s futile to rely on our own limited knowledge in order to prepare.

But as long as we obey, there is no hurry. 

Perhaps the most critically important skill to learn, as a follower of Jesus, is prompt and unquestioning obedience.

Right??

Now, I still have far to go in teaching–and practicing–this, of course. But I was reminded the other day of a game I used to play when the kids were toddlers. During the day, I would practice giving them a command, out of the blue.

“Dutch, go touch the front door! Heidi bring me that blue block!”

Yes, they were arbitrary commands, but it was an opportunity for them to learn prompt obedience, and for me to praise their efforts, in an environment that wasn’t rushed, stressed, or public. And when they didn’t obey (which was plenty), we had ample time to practice. I had forgotten all about those little games, but the other day, a friend sent me a note:

I’m reading a book called Endurance: A Year in Space, A Lifetime of Discovery by astronaut Scott Kelly. It reminded me of you talking/writing about helping Dutch & Heidi learn obedience by having them go and touch the front door when you asked. This astronaut wrote, “It occurs to me now that following directions that seemed arbitrary was good early training for being an astronaut.” Besides faithful servants of the Lord, perhaps you have some astronauts in the making. 🙂

My kids and I are far from perfect in this area, of course, but what’s struck me recently is that there is comfort in obedience.

As long as I obey, there’s no rush. My Father has me on His Timeline. If I’m listening, He’ll tell me what to do and when. I don’t have to fear that I’ve missed it somehow. I don’t have to fear being unprepared for His call. As long as I have a heart inclined to obedience, I can rest. I can find comfort in that.

Anyone else need that reassurance???

Friend, take comfort in obedience. If you lean in close, kick sin to the curb and listen carefully to His Word, HE WILL LEAD YOU. He will light the way, make your path straight, and give you the step-by-step instructions that you need. There’s no rush. He’s a Good Father. You don’t have to have the future figured out, just promptly obey His voice today.

{Originally from Jan 2018–Thanks for reading.}

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Dear Dutch,

Happy 13th birthday. I know I’ve told you this before, but I never dreamed you would become so awesome! I just mean when you were little and wandering around in your Lightening McQueen underwear I never dreamed you would become a tall, handsome, smart, witty, funny, kind, generous, delightful young man who I SO enjoy being with!

I appreciate the ways that you help me so much. When you take care of the chickens, take out the garbage and recycling, help me with Justice, carry in groceries for me, all of these things SO help me. I can’t thank you enough, and I’m so proud of the way that you serve others. I appreciate how you help with set-up at church, and you do a great job running the slides for worship. You are capable and quick-witted, and you’ve become a huge help at church. You’re also so capable with Justice, which helps me so much. We really couldn’t do our Sunday mornings without you, Son. Thank you.

I also admire the way that you play and get along so well with your friends. [names] look up to so much. I love that you don’t treat them as younger, or look down on them, but you have a great way of entering in to whatever they’re into or bringing them into your world in ways that are appropriate for them. Truly, that is one of the most admirable things about you—you naturally adjust and are able to engage with people from 8-year-olds to 80-year-olds! 

I’m so grateful for your hard work as you’ve begun FCCT school this year. I really never dreamed you’d do this well! I’ve been so pleased at how you do your homework and tests each week without being asked! Wow! You’re a homeschool mama’s dream. 😉 Of course I don’t get to see how you act in class 😉 but your teachers say you are a delight to have in class, so I’m trusting that you are. Keep being a delight! 

I’m also proud of the way that you’ve grown in your kindness to Heidi. I’ve often seen you compromise or defer to her, and that is a sign of maturity. You’ve also begun to show some self-control in NOT saying every “funny” comment to her that comes to mind, and not blurting out corrections of Daddy in church. You’re growing in your understanding of appropriateness, context, and timing. Keep it up, Son! 

I’ve prayed so many prayers for you over the years and will continue. I thank God often for Brant Hansen—in so many ways he is an answer to my prayers over the year, and I’m so grateful you have a godly role model in him. I wholeheartedly approve! My prayers now continue: I pray you will be pure in mind and action, that you will fear the Lord and desire to never sin against Him (Gen. 39:9). I pray you will always use your strength to be a protector of the weak, a provider for anyone in need around you. I pray you will, even in your strength and courage, be always mindful of the weak or hurt or needy around you. I pray you will always seek to protect and care for the women in your life. And I pray you will always use your knowledge and skills to make the world a better place, even if just by sharing that knowledge with those around you.

Dutch, I’m so proud of you. Thank you for being the best son I could ever ask for (shhh, don’t tell Justice! I’m sure he’ll be awesome too.) Please know you can always talk to me, or at me. 😉 I pray God gives me a long life so I can watch you and learn from you for years to come. Above all, Son, stay humble. As you walk in humility, God will give you grace, and you will succeed in life by His grace. 

I love you,

Mom

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Can we intentionally forget something?

I know for certain I can forget things without the slightest bit of intention! It happens every day. But I also know that when I really need to, I can set my mind so purposefully that I won’t forget what’s most important.

Take travel, for instance. When we’re flying with the kids, I’m on my game. Passports and ID in a zipped pocket with boarding passes. Snacks and waterbottles within reach. Electronics charged.

I can focus my mind so that I won’t forget.

I never forget the things I know I can’t live without.

But does it work the other way around?

Can I be just as intentionally TO forget something? Or perhaps the question you’re asking, Why would I want to do that in the first place?

I was struck last week by a simple sentence in Hebrews 10:

I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.

Heb 10:17

I tend to associate forgetfulness with a loss of brain function. Like, anything that’s forgotten is an indication of mental deterioration. But clearly God’s not choosing to be dumber. He’s not deteriorating in the slightest.

He’s choosing to forget what has already been forgiven.

Can we do that?

I’m really asking the question. Do you think that we, who are made in the image of God, can intentionally choose to forget what has already been forgiven? What do you think?

I think we can try. I think we might be surprised how effective our brains are at losing sight of whatever we refuse to give attention to.

Whatever you ignore, you forget.

When Paul exhorts us, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things,” he’s giving us a powerful way to rewire our brains and intentionally focus our attention.

All that rotten, corrupt, twisted, perverse, base stuff out there? Forget it.

In my journal yesterday I wrote, “What do I do with the stuff that drives me crazy?

It was a real question.

And I know I’m walking a fine line here and I’m not saying you just ignore stuff.

But I am saying, maybe just a little bit: Ignore stuff. *smile*

I’m saying that it probably wouldn’t hurt to exercise our made-in-God’s-image-ness and follow His example and practice refusing to call to mind those things that have already been covered by the blood of Jesus. Those things that aren’t excellent and praiseworthy.

Strangely enough, I have found that I can intentionally ignore the things in my house that drive me crazy, and that over time, they don’t bother me anymore.

But again, our minds aren’t a vacuum. I must replace all that discouraging data with other data:

If we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sin, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries.

Heb. 10:26-27

That’s a terrifying verse, and I certainly don’t know how all this works. But do know that if I KNOW a truth, but intentionally ignore it, so that I can live however I want…I’m in danger.

Lord, help us REMEMBER TRUTH. Help us seek truth and cherish it and hold fast to it and NEVER FORGET what has been revealed to us, by Your grace. Let us lose the hyper-focus on all that makes us miserable and help us hyper-focus on all that YOU HAVE DONE for us.

I wonder what all our brains are capable of, as we yield them fully to God’s commands. It’s clear that “suppressing truth” (intentionally ignoring) leads to delusion, deception, and darkening (Romans 1). Then it seems to follow that focusing, with all our attention, on the truth of God, might help our minds more than anything.

Father, turn our eyes off worthless things, keep us from revisiting whatever would be best forgotten. Guide us into your truth and help us never forget who You are. {Thanks for reading.}

“Don’t have expectations.”

I’ve heard this, and said this, so many times. It’s an easy-answer that’s true but sometimes difficult to put into practice. We hit on it a little bit in the last post–we experience disappointment, or frustration, joylessness to be sure, when we shift from serving others to being served.

Often, when we experience disappointment, we chide ourselves (or are chided by others), “Remember, don’t have expectations.”

And that’s fine, but honestly, when I really seek to put this into practice, I’m like, “Wait a minute. How does one not have ANY expectations?”

I mean, part of having a brain is that we formulate hypotheses, we speculate, we plan, we think through things in the future. This is, I’d argue, a rather healthy part of cognition. When we schedule a trip, or an event, or even make plans for the weekend, there has to be SOME level of expectation. Inasmuch as you are planning, coordinating, thinking ahead, you are naturally creating some level of expectation.

In Sacred Mundane we talk about Expectancy vs. Expectation, and that has been an enormously helpful distinction for me, with regards to trusting God in difficult circumstances.

But just in terms of vacations, events, holidays, even things like birthdays or special days, it seems to be that the simple instruction, “Don’t have expectations” isn’t very helpful. Why?

Because your mind can’t just be a vacuum. You can’t just eliminate expectations and leave blank space rattling around in there. In fact, the more you focus on, “I won’t have expectations, I won’t have expectations, I won’t have expectations” the more you’ll focus on expectations! Or at least the more you’ll focus on self!

A better game-plan? Have big expectations!

Expect to whole-heartedly serve others, at every turn.

Expect to pour out your energy in loving, serving, giving, thanking, and being a blessing to whoever is in front you, for the sake of pleasing your King. Expect, on some level: There will be difficulty during this __[fill in the blank with the day/event/holiday/season___] and I fully expect God to meet my every need as I rely on Him and enable me to love and serve those around me.

As long as I’m focused on eliminating my expectations, or trying not to be disappointed, or trying to not “get my hopes up” or trying to insulate myself from pain, the focus is still on me.

Any way I slice it it’s still me focusing on me.

It’s so much more fun and effective to displace those self-centered expectations. There’s just no room for them when we fill our minds and hearts so full with focused energy to bless others. We aren’t even thinking about our expectations anymore because we aren’t thinking about “OUR” anything!

This may have zero application for you this holiday season. Maybe you, like me, have a genuinely joyful family and you’re just grateful to be together Awesome. But if the holidays do sometimes stir up any level of expectation or disappointment or sting or hurt or whatever, maybe this is a good game plan for you too. Hope it can be helpful. {Happy December. Thank you so much for reading.}