All posts by Kari

I quizzed my kids the other day by reading them part of an article by Deepak Chopra and asking them whether it was true and theologically sound. It brought up a great discussion, the gist of it was this:

Are we to resist evil or not?

In the cited article, Chopra states that Jesus told his followers in Matthew 5:39, “Do not resist evil.” He went on to say that Jesus “gave in to evil and is worshipped for it.” He then blasts Christians by saying that they ignore this teaching and instead “seek revenge” on terrorists, Nazis, murders, and pedophiles. Apparently, Chopra thinks that Jesus words in Matthew 5 (and His going to the cross) mean that Christ-followers should never resist wrongdoing in this world. He concludes, “Now that … punishing all evil-doers to the absolute maximum is the most Christian thing to do, we can all rest easy. Jesus’s most radical ideas have been washed clean from our memories and our conscience.”

A few thoughts:

• First, he misquotes Jesus’ words. Just a slight twist, but it’s in there. My ESV says, “Do not resist the one who is evil.” Some translations say, “Do not resist the evildoer.” In the Greek it literally reads, “Do not resist THE evil.” The word for evil can be translated an evildoer, or just evil. But no matter how the English comes out, it’s clear that Jesus isn’t just making a blanket statement, “Do not resist evil.”

• Jesus came “to destroy the works of the devil” (1 John 3:8). Obviously the works of the devil are … EVIL. How can you destroy something without resisting it? Clearly Jesus came to resist and to destroy evil.

• James tells us, “Resist the devil” (James 4:7). If we are never to resist evil, how on earth would be resist the devil? Is it possible to tease the two apart? I can’t imagine how on earth you would do that.

So what is a Jesus-follower to do?

Follow Jesus exact words, His methods, His ways.

Jesus overturned evil by personally suffering evil. He resisted evil by refusing to retaliate. The context of Matthew 5:39 is Jesus saying, “Turn the cheek. Offer the cloak. Go the second mile.” When mistreated, Jesus is saying, “There’s actually a better tactic than just merely resisting (or retaliating against) the person mistreating you.”

Don’t fight the person, fight FORCE behind that person.

To Chopra’s credit, though I hate to admit it, I do think some of his observation is correct: As a whole, we Christians haven’t done a great job of enduring personal mistreatment. We’re a very quick lot to defend ourselves. But he’s also mangling Jesus’ message, and (it seems) using the criticism to discredit Christianity as a whole. That sort of sloppy theology and finger-pointing isn’t super helpful, in my opinion.

There’s a lot more I’d love to say, but for now … What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

“It’s all about soil.”

I spoke this across the room to Jeff, out of the blue, while in the middle of reading Red Fish, Blue Fish to Justice. He looked at me, completely lost.

“That’s it. Same external environment, same seeds, same treatment, same timeframe. One pea planting is 3-feet high and one is 3-inches. It’s all about soil.”

Of course he knew I wasn’t talking about plants, per se, but the observation was certainly true on that level. We re-filled all our planter boxes with premium garden soil this year, and the growth is incredible, compared with the rest of the garden. Just yesterday our housemate observed, “You’ve never had this kind of success!”

It’s true, I said. We swapped out the soil.

The deeper level comment was in response to a question I’d been wrestling with: Why, under the same circumstances, do some people seem to grow and thrive and bear ongoing fruit and others don’t?

Of course, I’m including “seem to” because we can’t truly determine what growth is happening deep down, inside. But we can certainly observe fruit! We’re told to!

Jesus sheds light on this dilemma, I think, when He talks about soil. Just as I observed in my garden, Jesus clearly says that the key, in whether the seed of the gospel bears fruit manifold or not, simply comes down to soil.

“And some [seed] fell into good soil and it grew and yielded fruit a hundredfold.”

Luke 8:8

So then the question is: What is good soil and how do we get it?

It seems to be two-fold. In Luke 8:15 Jesus says, “As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.”

Good soil: Honest and good heart. Patience.

But in Matthew 13:23 Jesus says, “But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it.”

Good soil: Hearing God’s Word and understanding it.

Which is it? Yes.

As much as I’d like to blame external circumstances, the condition of my heart is the variable that determines the fruitfulness of my life.

And while that can feel defeating, as if I’m doomed to a life of stunted growth because of my bad soil, the opposite is too. Just as we were able to switch out the soil in our planter boxes, you can swap out the soil of your heart.

Our new soil cost us $114 and a good hour of shoveling (ok, Dutch & Jeff did all the shoveling). New soil in our hearts is going to take a much bigger investment, but friends: Nothing else matters more. Using Jesus words, we could safely say the swap out entails:

1. Pursuing honesty and integrity, before God and others.
2. Accepting difficulty and delays with patience.
3. Regularly receiving the Word of God and working to understand it.

There are other aspects to the parable, of course. The cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke out the seed. Shallowness makes the seed spring up quickly with enthusiasm, then die in the face of difficulty. Lack of understanding allows the enemy to snatch away the seed before it has a chance to bear fruit.

But really, it’s all about the soil.

What we desperately need, what I desperately need, is to do the work of swapping out the soil of my heart by continually pursuing those three things. We don’t have control over our circumstances. We might be “free” but we are most certainly not in control. We don’t get to choose what plague or persecution will face us in our lifetime, but we do get to choose whether or not we will make the priority of pursuing good soil in our hearts, so that God can bear fruit a hundred-fold in our lives no matter what harsh environment comes our way.

{Thank you for reading.}

Who would have thought that a book about cognitive biases, self-righteousness, and Adolf Eichmann, architect of the Nazi’s “final solution,” could have me laughing out loud and breathing a deep sigh of relief as I settle into the realization, all over again, that I can indeed lighten up and let God be God.

Letting go of self-righteousness might be the most freeing thing we ever do. It’s a slow and subtle trap and it feels so right all along the way. The “righteous indignation” we nurse as we look at the world around us, the fierce loyalty we feel towards our party, our camp, our opinion, the airtight case we silently build as we mentally dispute those who disagree with us.

It’s a full-time job, y’all, having to be right all the time.

The truth is: You guys, we’re a mess. Salvation can’t come until our prayers are no longer looking around at those we deem losers and saying, “Thank you, God that I’m not like THEM,” but we finally, inwardly, truthfully, just beat our chests and go, “Oh my goodness, Lord Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

The chest-beaters, the mess-ups that know it, the ones with eyes downcast, not looking around at everyone else, they’re the ones who will be justified.

For me personally, the book spoke loud and clear one thing I needed to hear: Lighten up.

When did the weight of following Jesus become SO VERY HEAVY? When did we start believing we have to have an opinion on everything? When did everything become a cause of outrage? When did I become so easily overwhelmed by the everyday struggles and conflicts of life?

None of this is new. Kari, there is good news. It is that Jesus has inaugurated a New Kingdom and it’s totally upside down and all this stuff we see is but a shadow and He actually said that His yoke is EASY and His burden is LIGHT. Why? Not because the work is easy, not because the weight of the world is light, but because HE CARRIES IT.

This whole wild circus that we call the World?! Jesus isn’t freaking out. Jesus isn’t panicking. In fact, He’s SITTING DOWN. He’s seated at the right hand of the Father and He’s patiently waiting to return and set everything straight, and as I cling to Him and trust Him, and seek justice and love mercy and walk humbly with Him, He’s going to go ahead and run the world and in the end I’m pretty sure I’ll be wrong about more than 1/2 the things I think I’m right about. But if I have trusted Him and walked in humility and fled from sin and pride, I think there will be a place for me, with Him, in a great eternal kingdom. Oh man, you guys: I’m so so glad for this.

So yeah, buy the book: Looks like the best deal is here: https://bakerbookhouse.com/products/the-truth-about-us-how-we-fool-ourselves-and-how-god-loves-us-anyway-9780801094514 Or if you live near me, you’re welcome to borrow one of my three copies. 🙂

My pair of cute shoes remind me daily how much everything’s changed.

In mid-February, I was beginning to get the Spring-is-coming itch and wanted a pair of cute spring shoes. I only have cold-weather boots and warm weather sandals, so I thought it’d be reasonable to get a pair of cute sensible springy shoes. Of course, at that point it was still freezing cold and pouring rain, so I didn’t need them at that moment. But I wanted them at that moment, and $30 is a steal so I snagged a pair and set them aside for warmer days.

Little did I know that this Spring I would barely be wearing shoes!

In the last month I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve left my house, and the majority of those trips has been to Winco foods. I don’t need cute shoes to go to Winco foods. Around our property I wear my beat-up trail-running shoes, or muck boots.

Quite frankly, cute spring shoes are useless right now.

It’s a silly example, but it’s interesting how drastically valuations can change, nearly overnight. Suddenly, toilet paper is valuable. Rice is valuable. Butter is valuable (Well, butter was always valuable to me). Giving my money to those in desperate situations worldwide is valuable.

You know what’s worthless right now? Cute shoes.

I was thinking the same thing about people. Suddenly we’re SUPER grateful for grocery-store clerks. (Winco grocery-clerks have been SO cheerful and helpful!) Hospital janitors (!). Nurses. UPS delivery drivers. Unseen Amazon workers filling orders. The garbage-truck driver. People who clean the Costco-stores after hours. Our estimation of them has risen dramatically!

No offense to professional athletes and celebrities, but right now the truck driver and hospital janitor are who I’m celebrating. In fact, could you NBA guys grab a sewing machine and start sewing masks? There’s work to do.

Again I’ll say, disease isn’t good, but God uses all for good. Isn’t this what “reevaluation” is all about? When we “re-evalute,” we’re looking at things with fresh eyes to attempt to place true value on what really matters.

I believe that someday when we wake up in heaven, this will be what it’s like. Suddenly the TRUE VALUE of things will be made clear. That’s why the Bible tells us not to store up treasures here on earth. When we wake up someday to eternal realities, my cute shoes will be turned to dust, but the money or time I invested serving those around me will somehow shine like gold.

Please don’t hear me say cute shoes are bad, but my ill-timed investment in them reminds me: Only God knows what we really need for what’s to come.

I might think that the world needs another book published. He may be telling me to spend my time on other endeavors instead. I might think that we really need XYZ done on our house. He might be telling me that investing in this other direction might be a lot wiser. I might set my sights on a certain career or vocation, but God knows what jobs will even be around in the future.

I’m grateful for the fact that this situation has shown us one thing: Everything can change very quickly and only God has the Omniscient wisdom to guide us through a future that only He knows.

More than ever, we need the humility to ask God for His direction, and trust that He knows best, even if doesn’t make sense. {Thanks for reading.}

I was cooking dinner when the texts came through in short desperate spurts. Panic. Help me?? I asked some questions. Are you willing to…. Waited for a response. Finally:

Yes.

I stood at the stove, praying that this newfound willingness would remain, that the desperation to do whatever it takes would last longer than a virus-scare.

The next morning I re-read Luke 15 and saw something new. You probably know how this goes…

“Give me my inheritance now. I’m sick of living under your thumb. Give me what’s mine and I’ll be on my way.”

The younger son essentially spits in the face of his father, telling him he doesn’t want his presence, doesn’t want his relationship, he just wants his money.

I want resources, not relationship. I want access, not accountability.

And so he goes, this Prodigal Son, and squanders it all with “reckless living.” Later we learn this isn’t just an innocent shopping spree–he fritters his fortune away on prostitutes and self-destructive behaviors.

A parents’ worst nightmare.

But what happens next is interesting, and you may think I’m overstepping my Bible-bounds, but the thread through the Scriptures is unmistakable:

God sends a famine to bring a lost son home.

In the midst of the Prodigal’s wild life, while he’s still in the height of his self-destructive stupidity, “a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need.”

He began to be in need.

Turning point. We often think the turning point is when the prodigal son begins the walk home and the father runs to meet him. But this is the beginning. He’s not coming home yet, but he’s left the prostitutes in favor of working on a farm.

I’d say that’s a great step. He’s humbled. He’s sobered up. He’s desperate. He’s willing to feed pigs. His entitlement is gone.

That’s when he “came to himself.” He remembers the grace and kindness of his father. And he’s willing to return, as a servant, because, he says, “I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”

Our culture would be so quick to interject here, “Oh lost boy, don’t talk like that! You ARE worthy! You ARE enough!”

But you know what? The Prodigal son was spot on. All his self-righteousness is gone: He sees himself for what he truly is. Unworthy.

And into his vast cavern of unworthiness the Good, Good Father pours out His steadfast, relentless grace, and matchless kindness. The older son, who’s still stuck in self-righteousness, is outraged. Hasn’t the father seen the scorecard? Clearly the little brother is a zero.

But the Father isn’t keeping score, he’s giving love. It’s a beautiful story.

But it’s interesting that a country-wide famine is what brought the lost boy to the end of himself. It wasn’t until he began to be in need that things turned around.

A few weekends ago some friends and I looked at the lives of Bible characters and saw the lengths that God goes to in order to get people’s attention.

I don’t pretend to know all that God is doing during our worldwide pandemic, but I have been floored by how many stories there are of God’s individual, personal plans being carried out in people’s lives through the details of this difficult time. Would God send a famine to bring home a lost boy? Would God allow a pandemic to bring us back home to Him? To lead us away from self-destructive patterns and habits and reset our gaze on all that really matters?

Praying constantly for eyes to see what God is doing behind the scenes, and that the need I feel would ever turn me from self-destruction and put me on the path back home to Him. Thanks for reading.

There is a kind of overwhelm that is very real to me and it has nothing to do with trying to have a Pinterest-worthy home or a beach-worthy body. I don’t get overwhelmed comparing my life with others who seem awesome. That isn’t the social-media trigger for me.

But I often feel overwhelmed by ALL THE GOOD CAUSES. Am I alone in this? Anybody else?

Just recently, I could feel that growing sense of overwhelm. The stats presented to me were overwhelming. The urgency was real. I couldn’t — didn’t want to — ignore the very real need presented, but I inwardly wrestled with the same angst I often feel in these situations:

How do I support/champion/care/give/help ALL these amazing causes?

The next morning I sat quietly with God and told Him how I felt. Often when I’m overwhelmed it helps me to write out lists of “all the things” so it loses its vague gloom-cloud feeling and becomes concrete. In my journal I began writing each thing, not just that I know about, but that have been presented to me as a worthy cause, in our world and in my life. I started far out and worked inward. It included:

World:

• Unreached people groups — gospel! 10/40 window
• Relief and development for poor in 3rd world countries: Specifically Next Generation Ministries, Child Sponsorship through World Vision, and Water projects through World Vision (6K for water)
• Homeless/poverty/drug abuse/mental illness here (Mary)
• Abortion (millions of lives) each year
• Racial reconciliation/ immigration/Refugee care (philoxenia) in USA
• Persecuted church worldwide–Voice of the Martyrs
• US and local political involvement (various critical issues)
• Human Trafficking
• Foster care & adoption (CASA)
• Young Lives ministry to single moms

At home:

• Home-educating our big kids, teaching them to love and obey God!
• Training Justice! Constant work & intentionality.
• Cooking (!), cleaning, home management–including the impact of food purchasing decisions on developing nations (fair trade), environmental impact, and HEALTH! Consider all!
• Serving and loving my parents

Local church:

• Shepherding, caring, discipleship
• Addressing marriage crises, addiction within church
• Friendships! Doing life together
• Preaching and healing like Jesus did!

So basically all of these things are swirling around in my heart and mind and every time I hear someone champion one of these things it feels like I need to be all about that things. Not only that, but it feels like there are TRENDS! So it seems like for 6-months or so everyone is all about one thing, and then six months later it feels like we’re all about something else. That’s a terrible overstatement, but at least on social media it can sure feel like that. And with all of my heart, I want to be ALL ABOUT what God is all about! I don’t want to waste my life. But quite frankly, I cannot be ALL ABOUT every single one of these things. Especially not all at once. So, pray tell, how on earth do I navigate it all?

I asked God that. Like, out loud. And I sat and waited, in silence, for Him to answer. I’m not saying this is “thus sayeth the Lord” but so clearly in my heart, I heard,

Fight sin in any form you encounter it.

Ah. I could feel my whole being settle into peace. Yes. Of course. In every single one of these endeavors, the undercurrent is fighting SIN. It is fighting some consequence of the fall. Whether I am fighting my own sin, or working on behalf of someone else who is a victim of sin, if I am actively fighting sin in any form I encounter it, I’m in step with the kingdom of God.

The next step for me was simple–which of these causes has God clearly allowed me to encounter. That is, which causes as God undeniably plopped in front of me in such a way that I know He has called me to this thing.

I made another list. This one was only 6 items long.

Ah. Yes. That is a list I can handle. That is a list of priorities I can very much get behind and actually DO something about. I CAN pray regularly over six things. I CAN give generously to six things. I CAN care, research, and give mental energy to six things.

Does it mean I don’t care about those other things? Certainly not. It means that I recognize one simple thing: I’m not God.

God is the only one with the capacity to KNOW, CARE, and be deeply invested in EVERY CAUSE. In fact, He is the only One with the emotional and mental stores to even HANDLE the truth about all the world’s woes. I honestly think part of our mental health problem is that we have OVER-KNOWN. We have taken on more than we can mentally handle, forgetting that we play a role of obedience to God but we don’t need to have a hot-take on every single headline in our feed.

I’m not talking about burying our heads in the sand, I’m talking about not sticking our nose in business that belongs only to God.

So I share my simple process, just in case anyone else out there feels this same tension. I don’t pretend to have it all figured out. Perhaps our six things will change as seasons change (likely), but for today, I will devote myself to the few things God has called me to. And trust Him to be God and mobilize others for the causes outside my reach.

{Thanks for reading.}

Today is a rare occasion: It’s been a mostly Plan A day (which is why I’m curled up under a blanket with time to write this post!).

Our days rarely go exactly as planned, right? We know this.  Perhaps the most crucial character trait for any homeschooling parent is the ability to adjust, reconfigure, and creatively course-correct again and again and again (and again!). 

I’ll just tell you straight up–tossing a toddler into the mix of our life has thrown me for a major loop.

The baby-stage was mostly a breeze, but since we dropped the morning nap and he transitioned from snuggly baby to busy-never-sitting-still-crawling-onto-the-counter-emptying-every-cupboard-playing-in-the-toilet-every-time-I-turn-around-needing-constant-training-toddler I have had a hard time figuring out how to order our day effectively. (Advice welcomed!)

So, since “Plan A” days became so rare, I went ahead and posted “Plan B” in our house, just so we all knew what to do.

So far that’s the one thing that’s working well. My children are very kind and they’re alive. Yes! 

But even though “Plan A” doesn’t happen exactly, for me it’s still immensely helpful to have a rough outline of where we’re going each day.

It isn’t about following it exactly, but it does give us a guide. 

Honestly, I still feel pretty scattered.

Juggling a teen and a tween and a toddler along and my writing and speaking commitments, with what feels like loads of food prep (we love healthy food), and wanting to love and serve my husband and my parents and the precious people around me in our various spheres, I feel like I’m rarely giving anyone the attention they deserve.

But. God is so gracious, He gives us new mercies each morning, and I wouldn’t trade the details of my life for anything in the world. They go something like this… {Read the rest over at Simple Homeschool! Thanks!}

“….let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance…”

Heb. 12:1

I read the text over and over that week, considering the familiar passage and asking God again and again for insight–What are my weights?

The pain in my neck provided the perfect illustration. Earlier that week we had wanted to head outside on a beautiful sunny day. Justice is nearly 30 lbs so he’s a beast to carry around, but we have a hefty backpack carrier that Jeff uses. I had never used it before, but figured I could handle it for a short hike. How heavy could it be? I slid it out of the closet, hefted Justice over the top and down into the harness, buckled him in, then squatted down and eased the straps over my shoulders, then stood up.

Good grief he’s heavy, I thought. I pulled the waist straps tighter, shifted to try to adjust the weight down instead of pulling painfully on my neck. It’ll be fine.

We hiked, up and down hills and the whole time I’m just thinking, Good grief this kid weighs a ton! We kept it short because I couldn’t endure much longer. By the end my neck burned, my head ached, and I was just relieved to be done. That night I told Jeff about our little excursion and told him how much I admired that he could handle carrying that heavyweight around all the time!

The next morning Jeff made a humorous discovery: He’d accidentally left his huge study Bible in the front compartment of the backpack carrier. After church he’d tucked it in there just to travel home, then forgotten it was there.

I rubbed my sore neck and shook my head–a little extra weight is no joke! It seems so little–just a book. A little extra here and there. But over the long haul of a hike it takes serious toll on your ability to endure! The truth is, I could have hiked a lot longer without that extra weight. And I’m sure there are lots of things that “weights” might be for us, but one I know for sure for me:

My preferences.

My preferences are weights, friends. All the things that I have to have, the things that I like to be just so. The demands, comforts, requirements that must be fulfilled in order to be happy.

Every time I add a “must have” item to my life, I add a weight.

I think of this anytime I’ve searched for a vacation house on VRBO or AirBnB. As you know, the more boxes you check as requirements, the narrower your options get.

I.e. the more preferences you have, the fewer options you have.

Every box I check drastically reduces my options. It actually limits me.

My preferences limit my freedom.

Now please hear me, I’m not saying checking boxes is evil. Just adding a baby to our mix has limited our options because there are occupancy limits, that’s certainly not a bad thing! Indeed there are options that aren’t good for us. We’re wise to opt out of those things. But when there are so many things that I have to have just so, and you know what?

They drastically reduce my options.

Sure, we who have the privilege of wealth (which we all do) can afford to make a lot of those preferences a reality, but the principle is still the same. Everything I have to have in order to be satisfied comes back to bite me because it limits my freedom. It goes back to the Wide Joy thing…Every requirement I place on life closes that gap a notch more, narrowing the slice of life where I’m actually content.

It’s such a strange thing–our freedom can enslave us. Because we can become so accustomed to things being just so that we aren’t free to run with endurance. Our carry-on bag is too big!

Please hear me too, this isn’t just pointing fingers at people with money. I know wealthy people who purposefully live well below their means, on purpose. They haven’t kept checking additional boxes with every new raise. I admire them so much.

And of course it’s not only about money. But I can’t help but think of that haunting eye of the needle. Right? Jesus pulls no punches when he’s talking to the rich young ruler and that ruler didn’t have the freedom to follow Jesus because he had too many boxes checked. Too many preferences. He had to have his stuff. This and that thing were too near and dear to him. When he figured in all the amenities he had to have, there were no eternal options left for him. And that’s when Jesus speaks those haunting words,

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.

Matt 19:24, Mark 10:25, Luke 18:25

The disciples were “exceedingly astonished” at this, of course. They cried out the same thing I’d cry out, “Then who on earth can possibly be saved??” They clearly recognize how dire the situation is. And Jesus assures them that with God all things are possible.

And of course this isn’t a command for all people, that’s not the point. The point IS, if Jesus asks me to leave everything behind to follow Him, would I? And how do I know that unless I’m willing today to lay down my preferences? I’m fooling myself if I cling to my “have to have” list but still somehow think that I’d respond differently than that dear young ruler who walked away sad.

Right after he walked away the disciples point out that they have left everything. And Jesus assures them that nothing is lost. Everything they’ve left behind. All the boxes that they’ve UNCHECKED in order to follow Jesus, all those things will be added back to them.

We’re not given details, but Jesus is saying,

“Don’t worry. All that stuff you ‘lost’? It’ll be worth it.”

I’ll tell you straight up–that eye of the needle thing haunts me. Camels are big. Needle-eyes are small. Lord, please do the miraculous work of helping us first-world folks to love you more than anything. Please save us from the fate of the rich young ruler. Please help us lay aside weights so we can finish well. With man this is impossible but with You all things are possible.

Thanks for reading.

I paused, considering, then answered:

“Sure, I think going fishing sounds great and I’d love to go with you. We can do that after dinner, once we get our stuff put away.”

The child let out a little sigh,

“No, that’s ok. I don’t want to go fishing later. I only want to go right now.”

I smiled. I know that attitude. It’s the same I often sport, the same one a different child had donned just moments ago when she sighed about the dinner menu. She had hoped for bean burritos, not chicken legs.

Downcast face. *sigh*

I smiled, and told them I had a secret to share with them. A secret that would serve them well all their days if they’d remember it. They leaned in a little, a bit skeptical, but willing to listen.

I held my hands up in front of me, palms closed together like a prayer posture, then separated them about 4 inches apart.

“See this sliver here, between my hands. This narrow space between my palms represents all the things that are exactly as we want them to be. This is getting to fish at precisely the moment we have the urge, this is the meal we most want, this is the game I want to play, the plans I want to keep, the way I want it to go. This represents the circumstances I must have in order to be happy.

When I have high preferences, picky tastes, particular wants, I narrow down this slice of life with which I can be happy. My joy becomes very narrow. Every time I narrow in on what I want, I exclude more and more of life that I’ll be eligible to enjoy. Pretty soon, there isn’t much left. That’s narrow joy.

They were listening. Then I slowly widened my hands, out, out, out, until my arms were stretched wide, as far as I could reach, palms no longer facing inward, but stretched out, like a giant embrace of life. I smiled into their faces.

THIS is what happens when we let go of our high preferences, our picky tastes, our particular wants. This is what happens when we say, “Well, this isn’t my favorite food, but I’m so glad I get to eat. It’ll do just fine.” When we say, “Well, I’d love to this activity now, but I’m grateful I’ll get to do it at all.” When we say, “That’s not the way I’d like it done, but I’m grateful we get to do it together, and it’s better than being alone.”

This is what happens when we decide that no matter what way it happens, we’ll be grateful. We’ll make do. This makes all of life eligible as a source of joy. This means circumstances can vary widely without depleting our joy. This is WIDE JOY.

They understood. And so did I. And we munched our meal with gladness, and fished ’til past bedtime, and we will continue to pursue wide joy with all our hearts.

{Thanks for reading.}

“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.”

Philippians 4:12

We say it all the time: “You/I need to surrender to God.”

We sing about it.  It might just be one of our most oft-repeated phrases, in our spiritual conversations with each other. My own book sure contains references to it!

But … to “surrender” (to God) does not appear in the Bible.

Ever.

In the entire Bible, there is not a single command, reference, even mention of surrendering to God. 

So why have I spent so much of my life exhorting others and myself to surrender to Him?!

To be fair to us all, I think it’s just an unfortunate misnomer, that’s gained acceptance over the years, for a concept that is in the Bible.

In short: The Bible never tells us to surrender to God because the word surrender is always, ALWAYS used in reference to an ENEMY. 

God is not our enemy.

God is NOT OUR ENEMY.

If there is one thing I have learned this year, through the various heart-ache and disappointments we faced, it is that GOD IS NOT MY ENEMY.

GOD IS FOR ME. Even the hard is for my good. 

I wish I could shout from a world-wide megaphone and somehow convey to this aching, bewildered, lost and hurting world: GOD IS FOR YOU!

God LOVES YOU!

God is not your enemy!

Just this morning Jeff read it in church:

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. (Rom 8:31-34)

Friends, I honestly believe that if we had ANY INKLING how FOR US God really is, we would never doubt, never fear, never struggle to trust. We would be mind-blown at His goodness.

We would fall on our faces in grateful adoration. 

Now, what words are in the Scriptures? From what I understand, the idea of surrender really comes from two concepts: Submit and obey.

Submit

James exhorts us to “Submit yourselves, therefore, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (4:7) The context is pride and worldliness. Interestingly, James says that although God is not our enemy, we can make ourselves enemies of God by befriending the world. But even then, the exhortation isn’t to surrender but to submit.

Is it just splitting hairs? I don’t think so. While surrender refers to an enemy, submit speaks of loving, voluntary, glad deference to a GOOD HEAD, a GOOD leader, a superior officer of sorts who is ON THE SAME SIDE. It’s always used with regard to two people on the same team. 

While surrender is always used of an enemy, submit is always used of a comrade or spouse. 

Because of Christ, and this is MIND-BLOWING, you are a friend of God. God is your Heavenly Husband. He’s a good one. He’s a GOOD leader who ALWAYS has your best interest in mind.

Submit actually doesn’t occur that often as well. James is the only one who uses it in reference to God. The other references are to fellow believers, spouses, or church leaders. The word that does occur a LOT, although it isn’t as popular nowadays, is obey.

Obey

This might be our culture’s least favorite word. I recently read about a popular children’s book where the plot-line was a girl who had to “overcome” a curse that over her that made her always obey any order given to her. Yikes! Obedience is called a curse?! Of course, obedience to evil is a curse, but in our day and age we’re almost afraid to use the word. We teach our children to be “good listeners” but if I can be so bold, I don’t think anything is wrong with their hearing, obedience is what our children desperately need!

And while surrender occurs zero times, obey and obedience occur 180 times!

Now, the bottom line of this is so significant I can’t help but get excited. While the word surrender carries connotations of an enemy, the words submit and obey carry the connotations of …

Loving relationship. 

Submit speaks of a loving husband-wife relationship, of friends and comrades, of voluntarily deferring to one another, out of love and mutual respect.

God is our husband and friend. 

Obey speaks of a parent-child relationship, of a loving dad giving good and beneficial boundaries to His children out of deep love for them.

God is our Father. 

Dear, dear one: God is not your enemy. It might be a subtle shift, but I pray it is a real one. I pray you know the loving leadership of a good God who is FOR YOU, who knows that your best life is found in Him, that apart from Him there is no joy, no good, nothing of any lasting value.

No surrender. Submit yourself to a loving God, and obey His good and loving leadership in your life.

{This is from Jan ’18–this one mental switch has made such a big impact in how I view God the last two years. I hope this frees you as well. Thanks for reading.}

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