All posts by Jeff

Jeff and I just got back from the coolest experience.  We got to speak at the Oregon Moms in Touch annual conference, up at the Mount Angel Abbey.  My mom and Dutch came too, so it was a sweet experience for the four of us.  Mom has known many of the women for years and Dutch, well …. Dutch was his crazy self.  He actually didn’t break anything, so that was great, but he did manage to reach into the candy bowl and grab an enormous red hot heart-shaped gummy candy and shove it in his mouth.  He was later covered in pink sticky goo from top to toe.

We only talked for 20 minutes tops, but it was basically just a time where we shared our testimonies of our moms who prayed for us–persevered in prayer for us, and how God has been so faithful to honor those prayes in our lives.  We are the beneficiaries!

I was so humbled to look out at this group of women.  They are saints. These women are all moms, and they’ve devoted their lives to lifting up their children i prayer to God.  Young and old alike. One mom was pregnant, some had kids in their 30s.  But their common goal was this:  to devote their lives to prayer.  I pray that I can be half the mom that these women are–devoting my life to praying for Dutch and any other children God blesses us with. 

ANd for you moms out there–hang in there!  Through diapers, through tantrums, puberty, rebellion … hang in there!  God has been so faithful to me, and I know it is the result of a praying mom.  And any of you MIT moms out there, way to go!  Your prayers matter. 

I never had the privilege of meeting Dr. John Mitchell, founder of Multnomah Biblical Seminary (then Multnomah School of the Bible).  He died in 1990, at 98 years of age.  His most famous quote is engraved on a plaque in the library: “Don’t you folks ever read your Bibles?”  He was famous for that.  But his lesser known quote that he said just as often was, “Do you love the Savior?”  Just that.  So simple.  “Do you love the Savior?”  And I’ve been thinking about this lately.  Jeff and I are always talking about the best way to influence people for Christ.  And this week, as I listened to the John Piper message (posted in LiveDifferent 3), I realized what is missing from so many of our pulpits and lives:  Love for the Savior.  Oh I know that we want to live for God. We want to serve Him.  We want to be good people. We want to be His hands and feet.  We want to love others, see families reconciled, see people come to Christ.  But do we love the Savior?  Do I love the Savior?  Do you love the Savior?

I remember a while back visiting a church and hearing a great message.  It was creative, funny, and easy to listen to.  It was a really creative way to help people understand how to respond better to situations where they might feel stressed or negative.  But after I left, I couldn’t shake this nagging feeling I had.  What was wrong? I enjoyed listening to the message, and even took to heart a few things, thinking through how I could apply the principles and respond better in situations.  But later that day I realized what had been bugging me–It wasn’t about Jesus!  I never opened my Bible!  I wasn’t drawn to the feet of my Savior.  I wasn’t drawn to fall on my face before my Lord and confess my love for Him.  Principles are good.  Biblical principles are good.  Godly principles are good.  But you know that?  They’re not Christ.  They’re not what’s real.  They might help us to be good people, help us to resolve conflict better, help us to respond better to life’s challenges, but they’ll never make us fall in love with the Savior.  Without a complete, wholehearted, reckless adoration for Christ those principles are no more potent than the Seven Steps of Highly Effective People.  Great for making friends and influencing people, but they won’t draw us into the Holy of Holies, they won’t create in us a hunger for the presence of God.  Do we love the Savior?

I’ve mentioned before that I love looking to see what people write under “religion” on their Facebook profile.  I noticed that my brother’s says “Christ Adorer.”  When I saw that I just stared at it for a second. Christ Adorer.  Is that my religion?  Do I adore Christ.  Seriously.  Let’s be honest.  What are things that I adore.  Well, I adore my son, that’s for sure. I could talk about him for hours. I love to post pictures of him and videos and anything else that will somehow communicate with other people how cool he is.  I adore my husband.  And sometimes I adore some pretty simple things like mango with sticky rice or sweet iced tea on a hot day.  Do I adore Christ?  Now to be real here, it’s tough because I’ve never actually seen Christ.  I’ve never been able to put my arms around him. I can’t smell him or feel his arms around me. I don’t know the sound of his voice.  But my spirit does. And when I’m with Him, I do adore Him. I am intoxicated by His presence.  I love Jesus.  And that is the goal of our Christian life–to adore Christ with ever increasing measure, until the day our love is make complete in His presence in glory. 

But if all that we do is talk about biblical principles, how will people ever see and savor the beauty of Christ?  How will they be motivated to live those principles if they won’t adore the Savior?  And even if we are motivated to live that way, is that the reason we’re here?  Is our goal in life to have a good marriage, a good job, and to live a good way?  That’s hopefully a byproduct, but our goal is Christ! Our goal is to love and adore the Savior!  ANd if He is not truly beautiful and captivating to us, I am venturing to say that something is wrong.  And yes, our love waxes and wanes.  Our emotions grow cold.  We experience deserts, wildnernesses.  But if our default experience, our normal, most common experience is a Christian life that is centered on living biblical principles and not on seeking and savoring the glory of Christ, we’ve missed the boat. I’ve missed the boat. 

So I think I’m landing with the conclusion that my goal in life is not just to love people, not just to give my life for ministry, not just to see people made whole–it is first and foremost to seek God with all my heart, to seek Him for His sake, to see His beauty, to worship Him in His splendor.  As John Piper says, “When people are caught up in the heavenly sphere, caught up in the beauty and glory of God, they’ll do diapers differently!”  I’m all about the earthly action–I think my whole LiveDifferent challenge shows this loud and clear.  But if at the bottom of it all we aren’t Christ Adorers, then lay aside the LiveDifferent and first and foremost seek Christ. 

Do you love the Savior? I pray you do. I pray that I will more and more.  Let’s pray for a people whose hearts are truly set ablaze with love for Him.  Amen?

Last week as part of our LiveDifferent challenge we gave away “Beans ‘n Jeans” to help feed and clothe people in need. I’m a few weeks into my clothing fast and that’s good and well. Some of you may have read my recent post on Prayer in Action which focused on Prayer as Justice & Compassion. Basically, if our spiritual life isn’t one that’s actively moving as the hands and feet of Christ, it is no spiritual life at all.

Last night, I had a big change in my heart. I decided I no longer want the house. Any of you who know me at all know that for the last 10 months I’ve had my eye on the house. The same house. I’ve known, at least I felt like I knew that God wanted us to have this house. It was perfect. Everything I’d ever dreamed of, and with plenty of room to grow and open up our doors to others for ministry. And, provided that we could sell our McMinnville home, it was also in our price range — the upper end of our price range mind you, but our price range nonetheless. But a few doubts have been slowly creeping into my mind. First, I was jostled a little by something my pastor said a few weeks ago in church while discussing finances. He said a pretty simple statement, “Just because you can afford it, doesn’t mean you should buy it!” He was basically explaining how we automatically look to see “what we can afford” and then get the very most we can. That’s human nature. So I contemplated this, and while I did, I went to visit my brother and sister-in-law, as you know, in Salt Lake City. Now I don’t want to trespass their privacy but let’s just be frank about the fact that my brother makes a a lot of money. But here’s the thing–they give it away. You would never guess by visiting them. They have a beautiful but humble house that’s suited perfectly for ministry. They have only one car. They don’t have new furniture, they don’t have new clothes, they don’t have the latest this or the latest that. They live soooooooo below their means, so that they can give what they have for the Kingdom of God. Now I just had to shake my head at that, because I know if I were his wife, I’d be like, “Give me some of that money so I can have some new stuff!” But she’s not like that. She has the same vision, the same perspective on life.

So coming home I considered this. I thought, it’s no wonder God hasn’t entrusted me with a lot of money–He knows how poorly I’d use it! So as I thought about this and about the LiveDifferent challenge, I thought about this house that I’ve dreamed of for 10 months. And strangely enough, it was like slowly opening my little hand and letting my precious little thing slide away. And, strangely enough, I don’t miss it.

So while contemplating this I read a chapter in a prayer book and came across this translation of Isaiah 58:6-11:

“Is not this what I require of you as a fast: to loose the fetters of injustice, to untie the knots of the yoke, to stop every yoke and set free those who have been crushed? Is it not sharing your food with the hungry, taking the homeless poor into your house, clothing the naked when you meet them and never evading a duty to your kinsfolk? Then shall your light break forth like the dawn and soon you will grow healthy like a wound newly healed; your own righteousness shall be your vanguard and the glory of the Lord your rearguard. Then, if you call, the Lord will answer; if you cry to him, the answer will be: “Here I am.” If you cease to pervert justice, to point the accusing finger and lay false charges, if you feed the hungry from your own plenty and satisfy the needs of the wretched, then your light will rise like dawn out of darkness and your dusk be like noonday; the Lord will be your guide continually and will satisfy your needs in the shimmering heat; he will give you strength of limb; you will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”

Something in my heart leaps when I read this! Yes! That’s it! That’s what I want! That’s what we’re supposed to do! We choose to go without so that others may have. We “fast” to untie the knots of the yoke, to set free those who have been crushed. How can we offer to God a sanctified life if that life doesn’t take up the cause of those around us?

So on Wednesday (this was the depressing day of which I wrote about earlier this week), I was driving to school and consumed with myself, and as I pulled onto the I-205 off ramp there had been an accident so traffic was backed up, and I knew then I’d be late. And as I sat in traffic I realized that Jesse was there. Jesse is the homeless man who is at the Glisan off-ramp of I-205. My wonderful husband, who always disciples me by his actions, has befriended Jesse. We would always give him part of our lunches, and Jeff would always try to pull up next to him to talk, or get out and put his arm around him and talk to him about Jesus. Jesse always recognizes us when we come and smiles at us. Well this Wednesday I was already late, waiting for the accident, and I saw Jesse and realized the only food I had with me was my yogurt, which was the thing I had hurriedly grabbed in my frantic attempt to get out of the house. Oh Lord, do I have to give him my yogurt? Can you believe how selfish I am? That’s what was going through my mind. I knew I wouldn’t have time to get anything else and I wouldn’t be home until 3:30 and by then I’d have a raging headache because I cannot stand being hungry. And Isaiah 58 went through my mind. Ok, God, my yogurt. But I was stopped four cars away, and couldn’t pull up near him, so I through it into park, grabbed my yogurt and ran up the off-ramp calling him by name and gave him the silly yogurt, then the light turned green and I raced back to my car before people started honking and giving me the universal “I love you” finger sign. But as I went up I saw him absolutely light up and smile at me, a real smile–looking me right in the eyes. “Thank you!” He shouted as I waved.

You know what? I didn’t get a raging headache because I was hungry. In fact, I felt better because it took my focus off my silly little self. And you know what–just to be real honest here, I think maybe Jesse was kind of tickled to have a cute little blond girl run up to him and smile and call him by name(ok maybe he didn’t think I was cute but my husband does). I think maybe that mattered to him. I know it mattered to me.

So, Jeff and I have started making it a habit that Sunday night I pack our lunches and our dinners, just like normal, for our 10-hour day of class on Mondays. But Monday morning we give our lunches to Jesse, we tell him that God loves him, and we call him by name and look him in the eye and tell him he’s valuable. And one cool thing is that our friend Lyndi usually brings leftover sandwiches and coffee cake from Starbucks so a lot of days we end up with more food than we brought anyway, like loaves and fish!

So the LiveDifferent challenge is this: One day this week (or every week!), fast one meal (if you’re like me and you can’t not eat, just eat something simple for that meal, the point isn’t to not eat, the point is to give to others and offer ourselves to God), and give that “meal” to the homeless or the poor. That will look different to different people. If you live where you have access to homeless people, take your lunch to them personally. If you don’t have that kind of access, donate $2.16 to the Portland Rescue Mission–that’s enough to provide one meal and you can give online with your credit card (click here!) Wherever you are, there are always people in need and it is so easy to give to them if we just take the time.

I’ll leave you with this: The ultimate way to LiveDifferent is to see and savor our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the One who inspires and empowers us to LiveDifferent, and He is the reason we do. I listened to a profound message this morning by John Piper. (Click here to listen) It was delivered to a group of pastors, but it’s applicable to us all. Set aside time and persevere through it–67 minutes long–or break it up into chunks and listen as you are able. If that doesn’t motivate you to LiveDifferent, I don’t know what will! Thanks for reading. Let’s LiveDifferent this week!

At about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.  Acts 16:25

I mentioned in yesterday’s post that I had the “blahs.”  Well, ok, to crack open the door a little farther into my heart — I was depressed.  Just plain depressed.  Jeff and I were both exhausted, he’d had no sleep, I’d had no sleep since I’ve been up at night with this stubborn cough, and as I got all my things ready to go to class for the day, Dutch was crying because I was leaving and Jeff was trying to console him.  After spilling my tea, misplacing my keys, and fratically realizing I needed to grab some food for my lunch, I finally got in the car and sped down the driveway, only to hit a pothole and jostle my hand, spilling my tea all over myself.  A small thing, really.  Spilled tea.  But at the moment it might as well have been my heart that was jostled just a tiny bit too much, because it spilled.  I pulled over to the side of the road and just started weeping.  Exhausted, weary, confused, tired. Just tired.  Somehow it just felt as if all of this was for nothing.  Why?  Why are we even bothering to “LiveDifferent” –what’s it all for?  Why do I even try to keep my eyes fixed on God. It feels like it’s all for nothing.  So after catching my breath, I simply cried to God, “Please God, just something.  Just something.  Just something.  Just a little something to show me that You’re in all this, that You haven’t forgotten us, that there’s actually a reason why we’re living this crazy life of so-called faith.  Just something, please.”  And with that came a little dose of peace, and I drove off to class. 

So this afternoon, after putting my little wild man down for his nap, I brought my lunch upstairs to find refuge in the silent indulgence of checking my email and reading blogs.  My little “Something” came.  An email from an old high school classmate who I’ve not seen in 10 years, who reads this blog.  Basically, it was my “something” from God and more — a reason to press on. It was the most encouraging letter I’ve ever received.  Hands down.  I wept as I read it, realizing that Acts 16:25 is the reason we press on in hardship, the reason we live this crazy life of so-called faith even when we don’t feel like–because our life always impacts others.  Paul and Silas were in prison (and my life is a Caribbean Cruise compared to theirs!), and while they were praying and singing hymns to God, the the other prisoners were listening.  The world around us is saying, “Inspire us, please!  Inspire us.  Why should we hope in God?”  I know I long for that. Why do I read those spiritual greats–Tozer, Murray, Piper?  Why do I love reading and hearing about the lives of my friends who are walking the life of faith–because it inspires me.  It calls me to hope in God, to lay aside my petty struggles and look to Jesus.  I crave the inspiration of those around me.  So when we give up we don’t just let ourselves down, we let each other down.  Because we’re all connected.  So when Paul and Silas were praising God, they were preaching the greatest sermon of their lives–believe in God.  Believe in God.  Believe in God. 

So my “Something” came as a tender, loving, encouraging reminder that God is at work in Jeff’s and my life.  He does hear, He does answer, and the world is watching to see how we will respond to life.  To the dear sister who wrote to me:  Thank you.  Words can’t express how you encouraged my soul.  I pray that this little blog would be a teeny tiny dose of inspiration, hope, encouragement to any of who also desire to live a life of faith in our gracious God.  And when you’re desperate, ask God. Ask Him for a little “Something” of your  own.  And share your little “Something” with someone else, for the glory of God.

I haven’t written in a few days because I guess I’ve been struck with a case of the blahs.  Just blah.  Tired.  Weary.  Feeling as if the end of the tunnel is finally showing (classes end May 5), and I realize that at the end of the tunnel there is … nothing.  Basically the gist of it is that something I’d kind of been hoping for looks like it’s not really going to be happening, and while we’d been hoping and praying that something would work out so that Jeff could get a job in May when school gets out, our house would sell in McMinnville, and all the pieces would fall into place for us to move out, etc. etc.  I guess without realizing it I once again got my hopes up. 

So this disappointment caught me off guard because I’d really been SO joyful and content and just sensing that God was up to something good (good in my perspective).  So this week it seemed to slap me in the face—this reality that the housing market is an absolute shambles, there are 53 houses just like ours for sale in McMinnville, and the fact of the matter is that May is coming and there’s no job on the horizon. 

So, what do we do with disappointment?  Yesterday I had the honor of playing the djembe at our seminary’s Day of Prayer.  It was SO GOOD to play again! Ahh … it felt like coming home after a long travel abroad.  My hands knew what to do, my spirit was worshipping, I knew I was doing a little bit of what I was created to do.  And after we played, Dr. Blom, who teaches all of the spiritual formation classes, shared a brief message on Vision.  Vision. Hm…  He shared about little “V” vision, symbolized by holding up your first two fingers as if making bunny ears.  Then there is big “V” vision, symbolized by stretching out both arms up as far as possible making a “V” shape out fro your shoulders.  Small V vision are the things like ministry, goals and dreams and hopes for our life.  Our big V vision is the glory and presence of Christ in our lives.  He is our vision.  But we spend too much time totally focused on the little V vision, so much so that we forget all about our big V vision–the glory and presence of Christ.  Our little V vision can be taken from us.  Disappointments, dashed hopes and dreams, failure–all these things can devestate our little V.  But nothing can devestate our big V.  Nothing. 

So after contemplating this, I spent our individual prayer time contemplating some of these things and asking God what it was that was stressing me out about our future.  And He answered:  My attempt to reconcile two opposing drives in my life:  The drive to serve the Lord Christ and the drive for a comfortable life.  These are the two driving forces in my life, and unfortunately they are at odds.  My stress comes from striving to reconcile these two things.  From trying to walk two directions at the same time.  Or, to put it in more biblical terms, from serving two masters.  You cannot serve both God and Mammon.  Seeking to serve God and seeking relative comfort don’t seem like they’re mutually exclusive. I mean, I’m not seeking worldly things, right?  I mean, who doesn’t want a house, enough money to pay their bills, who doesn’t want to NOT live with their parents into their 30’s? 🙂  Who doesn’t want to be financially stable and be able to have good health insurance and who doesn’t want a stable job and who doesn’t want to have a clue about the future?  I can tell you who didn’t … Jesus.  Not serving God and Mammon doesn’t just mean that we forsake attempts to get rich.  It means we decide once and for all who we will serve, and there can only be one choice.  Which drive will it be?  Christ or Comfort?  Which vision will be focus on–the little V or the big V?  What is my vision.  Or rather, Who is my vision?

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee, Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven’s joys, O bright heav’ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all. 

There’s a great Chris Tomlin song (what Chris Tomlin song isn’t?) on my mind.  It goes,

You and I were made to worship, you and I are called to love.  You and I are forgiven and free. You and I embrace surrender, you and I choose to believe.  You and I will see, who we were meant to be. 

We were made to worship.  But a sad commentary is that trying to get people “to worship” can be like pulling teeth.  Each week at church I have to admire our worship team, especially during our 8:30am early service.  They give all they’ve got, full of energy and enthusiasm perhaps they don’t always feel, but they’re always there, pumping up the audience and encouraging them to praise God. 

I’m new to the Facebook world.  I like the idea of being able to share photos and catch up with long-lost friends.  I’ve already made several awesome connections with people from years’ past.  But one of the things I don’t like about it is that I feel like I can see into people’s lives a little more than I like.  For example, most will put “Christian” under religious preference, or some will write “Jesus” (like I did) or something of that sort.  But then sometimes, it seems like that’s where Jesus ends.  Everything else about the profile says nothing about being a Jesus-lover.  The reality of the profile is that He is just that — a religious preference.  He’s not praiseworthy, compelling, beautiful, captivating.  He’s not the reason tto live.  And please hear me in this, I’m pointing this finger at myself.  What do I love, adore, and crave?  Jesus?  That’s one thing that I love about my husband.  He truly loves and craves Jesus Christ.  Jesus is beautiful and compelling to him.  I long for a hunger that parallels his.

Now please hear me here, my point is not about facebook profiles.  It certainly doesn’t mean that every book, movie, quote, activity, or interest should be centered on doing Bible studies and singing hymns.  Not at all!!!!  I have seen and worshipped and experienced God listening to James Taylor and watching Sweet Home Alabama.  So really, that’s not what I’m saying.  What I’m saying is, what were we created to do?  Who are we, really?  We were created to worship, and we all do worship, we naturally worship whatever it is that we most love and enjoy.  What do you worship?

This Tuesday I have the awesome privilege of playing the djembe for Multnomah Seminary’s Day of Prayer event.  I’m thrilled to get to play again in corporate worship after almost three years.  BUt the best part is that I have to “practice” the songs … which means more worshipping!  Everlasting God, Step by Step, Agnus Dei … all these awesome worship songs have been blaring through our house as I practice my beats.  And as we’re caught up in how awesome God is, we see that this, this is what we were created to do!  Here is joy and peace.  Here is sweetness and rest.  Here is solitude and surrender.  We were made to worship.  We lose ourselves in His greatness.  Nothing compares to His love.

CS Lewis usually has some pretty cool things to say. 🙂  He usually says it better than me.  This is the essence of what my heart is beating right now:

“The most obvious fact about praise — whether of God or anything — strangely escaped me.  I thought of it in terms of compliment, approval, or the giving of honor.  I had never noticed that all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise unless (sometimes even if) shyness or the fear of boring others is deliberatly brought in to check it.  The world rings with praise — lovers praising their mistresses, readers their favorite poet, walkers praising thei countryside, players praising their favorite game — praise of weather, wines, dishes, actors, motors, horses, colleges, countries, historical personages, children, flowers, mountains, rare stamps, rare beetles, even sometimes politicians or scholars.  I had not noticed how the humblest, and at the same time most balances and capacious, minds praise most, while the cranks, misfits, malcontents praised least … Except where intolerably  adverse circumstances interfere praise almost seems to be inner health made audible …I had not noticed either that just as men spontaneously praise whatever they value, so they spontaneously urge us to join them in praising it: “Isn’t she lovely?  Wasn’t it glorious?  Don’t you think that magnificent?”  The Psalmists in telling everyone to praise God are doing what all men do when they speak of what they care about … I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation.  It is not out of compliment that lovers keep on telling one anther how beautiful they are; the delight is incomplete until it is expressed.  It is frustrating to discover a new author and not to be able to tell anyone how good he is; to come suddenly, at the turn of the road, upon some mountain valley of unexpected grandeur and then to have to keep silent because the people with you care for it no more than for a tin can in the ditch; to hear a good joke and find no one to share it with … This is so even when our expressions are inadequate, as of course they usually are.  But how if one could really and fully praise even such things to perfection–utterly “get out” in poetry or music or paint to upsurge of appreciate which almost bursts you?  Then indeed the object would be fully appreciated and our delight would have attained perfect development.  The worthier the object, the more intense this delight would be.”

You and I were made to worship.  I find it easy to praise Dutch. To praise Chris Tomlin’s worship songs.  To praise Nikki’s sweet mango with sticky rice.  Do I find it easy to praise my Savior?  What do I worship, really?  What do you worship?

Oops–Friday got away from me without doing the LiveDifferent challenge! My clothing fast is 5 days underway now and so far so good. I’m asking God to help me with my New Year’s Resolution to not worry about money. During the past two months it seems that someone has drilled a hole in our savings account and I’m watching it trickle before my very eyes. New brakes for the car, some unexpected medical expenses, car insurance … I feel like it’s draining faster and faster! So, while the world would stress out, I’m asking God to help me LiveDifferent, to give me peace to trust Him, to take extra care to manage what He’s given us.

Speaking of money, and tightness of it, yesterday my parents came home from grocery shopping and my dad made the comment, “I really don’t know how people with low incomes can live.” This surprised me because I think of him as the type of man who would say, “If you manage your money well you can do anything.” But he was being serious as he continued explaining that in their short trip to town they had spent $50 on gas, $70 for food, and $30 for a prescription. That’s $150 and they hardly had anything to show for it! I agreed. It really is getting harder and harder for families making say 25-40K/year or less to live.

So, how can we meet this in our LiveDifferent challenge for this week? Well, for those of you who live in the Portland area, right now at Multnomah Seminary the Women’s Leadership class is doing a Beans ‘n Jeans drive. Any day this week you can drop off gently used jeans or non-perishable food (it doesn’t have to be beans) to the seminary building (right up front on Glisan). But no matter where you live, there are always food banks and places where you can drop off items. The Portland Rescue Mission has a wish list of needed items on their website (click here to see) or just look in a phone book to find a nearby charity.

And I’d challenge you with this–don’t give the nasty canned-whatever that is hiding in the back of your pantry. Find something nutritious. Something tasty. Something that might actually bring delight to whoever gets to eat it. Or, when you do your next grocery trip (for me that’s today), actually pick out some nutritious non-perishable food items and take them this week, or take the charity’s wish list with you to the store and put together a small box of items they need.

Wherever you are, the LiveDifferent challenge this week is just to give gently used clothing and non-perishable nutritious food items to a charity in your area. What you give is up to you, but ask God and let Him speak to you. Use this challenge to draw closer to God, let Him search your heart, ask Him about your attitude toward the poor, ask Him to interrupt your busy schedule to take time for this. And if you’re like me and you’re being tempted to stress about money, ask Him to give you peace, to give you grace to trust Him, to rise above the pull that tempts you to focus on your own needs, and ask God for a vision of those around you in need. LiveDifferent. Thanks for reading.

This morning I drank coffee.  I’m not usually a coffee drinker, but while in Salt Lake visiting my brother and his wife and their daughter, I had 1/2 a cup of coffee each morning, because Nikki has delicious creamer in my favorite flavor, Toffee Nut.  Who can pass up fresh coffee with creamy Toffee Nut?.  My favorite part of coffee with Toffee Nut is the delicious aftertaste.  At first, it’s super sweet and has that bitter coffee bite perfectly balanced, but after you let it rest in your mouth and swallow, then you get the nutty bite mixed with the coffee that you can taste and smell as you exhale … mmm. 

There are other aftertastes that are pretty gross.  Like California or Arizona tap water.  It makes me gag just thinking about it.  As an Oregon water snob, it’s just impossible to drink that tap water without plugging my nose or diluting it with juice or something.  You don’t notice the water’s that bad when it goes down, but then the aftertaste … that’s where it hits you between the eyes. No thanks.

But what I love about some experiences are that you sometimes don’t have the full appreciation of how sweet or profound or wonderful something is until right afterwards, until that glorious aftertaste.  This week, as you know, I spent in Salt Lake City, Utah, with Kris and Nikki and Jennika, their adorable 7-month-old daughter. Now back home this afternoon, I mused about the trip while I did the laundry, unpacked clothes, and tidied the house.  I realized that I experienced zero stress while on this trip.  Now, get this.  I traveled alone with a wild and crazy 15-month-old boy who never sat still the entire 4 days. And yes, I am tired right now and happy to have my own bed.   But I experienced this inexpressable joy the entire time that I cannot explain except for the grace of God.  On both plane rides (and the one home was pretty hairy!), I had this overwhelming joy and peace.  Even on the way home, when we almost missed our flight (they had already pulled the ramp away from the plane and started the safety instructions on board!), ran the entire length of the terminal, when Dutch’s ears were painful and he wouldn’t eat or drink so in desperation I nursed my enormous 15-month-old boy, stretching his legs out on the poor young man to my right, doing my best with my little sweater as a cover-up, letting Dutch’s head hang out into the aisle (!).  It was so much fun!  And I think part of it, as I think about it, was that it was a rare jewel of a time for Dutch and me to have together, must mommy and son.  Now I’m not complaining, but just because of our living situation, I don’t often feel like I don’t get those special “just us” times, or, come to think of it, perhaps I do but I just don’t pay attention enough to savor them when they come.  But this time I savored them.  Last night, Dutch couldn’t sleep, and after listening to him scream for 20 minutes while I lay face down on my bed, I finally asked God, “God, what should I do?”  and I know I heard Him say, “Go get him.”  So I went in and held him, went over to the rocking chair (this is the boy who REFUSES to be rocked) and was amazed as he melted in my arms as I gently rocked him.  Two minutes later he was alseep. 

And because I didn’t have meals to make, homework to do (well, I did but I ignored it), and a house to clean, guess what I did?  Played!  We played trucks, we wrestled in the grass outside, we swung, we went down the slide, we just played, and I enjoyed and savored every second of it. 

I think the other part of the absolute sweetness of the trip was the fact that my brother and his wife are some of the most remarkable people on earth.  Sincere, genuine people who love the Lord with all their hearts and give themselves to bless others.  Their house is comfortable, big enough to plenty of guests, but not stuffy or showy.  Nikki had planned all my favorite meals, had the pantry stocked with our favorite treats.  Worship music gently plays at all times.  A basket full of trucks occupied Dutch, and Nikki doesn’t bat an eyelash at having her house strewn with little boy toys.  We hiked Devil’s canyon, saw a herd of elk, ate a post-hike feast at Denny’s, walked along the Jordan river, played at a litle park, did a short hike down to a partially ice-covered beautiful pristine little lake with ducks, surrounded by enormous slabs of granite.  And last night Kris and Nikki skipped their Bible study, to stay home with me.  Both babies were exhausted, so after they fell asleep, we stayed up until 10:30pm talking, eating my favorite thing in the world, sweet mango with sticky rice. 

When we got to the airport, they parked and came with me to help with our luggage (stroller, car seat, suitcase!) and followed me all the way to security.  As I kissed them goodbye and watched them walk away, I was thankful for a son so I could kneel and hide my face next to his while I cried.  I cry not because I’m sad that they are in Utah. I’m happy for that.  It’s where they belong. I can see that.  But I cry just because I love them so much.  I’m in awe of a God who is so good to give me such a wonderful brother and sister-in-law.  And as I kissed my boy, I sat in awe of a God who gave me such a delicious little boy.  And as I sit here right now, with Dutch fast sleep in his bed, I anticipate finally seeing my husband, who is on his way home from a retreat.  Coming home from being apart is one of my favorite parts of marriage — I don’t like being apart, but the coming home part sure is fun! 

I know–this is all over the road, but I guess I can just agree with the psalmist who said “my cup runneth over” (Ps. 23:5).  Indeed mine does.  And as I drink of its fullness, I savor the sweetness of all that God has done and who He is.  And today I savor the delicious aftertaste of time with my brother, with Nikki, with Jennika.  Of time with my little son.  And of the days ahead, because “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever” (Ps. 23:6). Read More

Click here to read a beautiful rendition of 1 Corinthians 13–the love chapter, rewritten with us in mind.  Amen and amen!

Well today is the first day of my one-year clothing fast (fasting from buying new clothes).  I did go last weekend and get a few essentials, 2 neutral t-shirts and some brown shoes, just to make sure I have my bases covered.  So what better way to celebrate than by visiting … Salt Lake City (no, there is no connection whatsoever, it just happens that I’m visiting SLC).  My brother, Kris, and his wife and daughter live here in Salt Lake, and Dutch and I scored some cheap tickets and decided to take the week to visit.  We haven’t seen them since they moved in December, so this is a real treat!  Jennika is 7 months old and adorable (other people say that too, it’s not just because I’m her aunty.  Visit their blog to the right and see for yourself!) 

I wanted to post a quick entry about the flight because any of you who follow us know what a nightmare the last time was (click here to read Breastfeeding a Wild Animal on an Airplane)  So, I was a little hesitant to try again, especially alone, and especially with a son who now walks and is ten times more active than before.  But, I just have to praise God because He heard our prayers!  They changed my seat so that I was in the very front row–so I had tons of leg room, and then the seat next to me was empty, (only 2 seats per row) so we had both the aisle and the window.  Plus, since Dutch is older now, he actually enjoyed looking out the windows, pointing at the trucks, and looking at the mountains.  He played happily with his trucks in the vacant seat next to us, ate crackers and cheerios, flirted unashamedly with the flight attendant (who flirted back, I might add!), played trucks with the man across the aisle, and played peekaboo with the elderly gentleman behind us.  Basically, he was an absolute doll.  Then, my boy who NEVER sleeps in the car, fell asleep in Kris’s car on the way home.  Then, when I tried the absolutely impossible task of transferring Dutch to the crib (mind you, this has never, never been done successfully), he actually stayed asleep and has no been asleep for over an hour.  Yeah, wonders never cease.

So, those of you without kids may read this and think that it’s a little ridiculous for me to be blogging about such trivial matters.  But parents, oh you understand.  Do you ever understand.  Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to be here … and for Your gracious hand on our trip.