At Home with Myself

I’m sitting down here because it’s the only thing I know to do.  For the first time in … I can’t remember how long, I’m at home with myself.  I mean, my mom’s here, but she’s quiet as a mouse sitting downstairs engrossed in her Bible Study.  See, Dad had OSU basketball tickets for today and asked Jeff is he wanted to go along.  Of course he did, and Jeff thought it’d be a grand adventure to take Dutch too–for a man’s day out.  At first I dragged my heels. Did they know what they were getting themselves into?  Our son does not sleep in the car–ever–so in essence they were braving a 7-hour adventure with a napless fourteen month old little boy who never sits still.  But I could tell Jeff was excited about it–and of course it would be a memory for all time.  The day the boys all went to watch the Beavers, Dutch’s first OSU athletics experience.

So, after packing Dutch’s food, sippy cup, extra diaper and wipes, I gave him an early nap, then nursed him and put on his shoes and hat and jacket … he was ready to go. After clicking the straps on the car seat, I stood back and waved goodbye as they drove off. And now…what?  I walked back inside, not sure what to do next.  Lunch. We’ll that’s easy enough.  A roasted yam, a plate of roasted carrots, and a plate of potstickers and my tummy’s happy.  Then a big cup of tea with lemon.  But where should I snuggle up with my tea?  What should I do? 

I don’t remember the last time I had an afternoon alone at home.  Not since Dutch was born.  Even when he’s napping there’s still that sense that he is here, and I quickly do what I can before he wakes back up, staying quiet lest he hear me.  But today, he’s not here.  Back in my old home, I would have a dozen projects just waiting to be tackled … but here I don’t. I suppose I could clean my closet, but it’s not really that bad. I feel like I should do something really significant, I mean–7 hours all to myself!  I’m caught up on homework, the laundry is done, and the fridge is full of food.  The house is clean, I’ve already walked.  Wow.  In a way it’s a great feeling, but it’s kind of strange too. A part of me wants to go shopping, since it’s so rare that I can do that alone. But my practical side reminds me that we have no money and that I don’t need anything … so what’s the point?

So, I’ve narrowed it down to either reading a book, writing a book, or organizing every inch of our little upstairs abode.   I’ll probably do all three, knowing me.  Oh, and I’ve already decided that I’m having chocolate chip cookies for dinner.  If that sounds heavenly to you too, come on over. 🙂