Do you ever have those moments when you sit back a bit soberly and think, “I really never thought I’d be this way” or “I never thought life would be this way.” For those of you with kids, do you ever stop and think, “I never thought I would feel like such a failure.”
My kids aren’t even out of diapers so I can hardly claim failure, but lately I’ve wondered if I’m on the only mom who consistently feels like she has no idea what she’s doing. And, whatever it is that I’m doing, I’m not doing it very well! I’m sure a lot of it is the combined stress of a lot of things in our life, cramming a hundred things into the last 4 weeks before seminary graduation just being one of them. But no matter what our life were like, raising small children is hands-down the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I’ve only begun.
Sometimes I feel like our life is so full that I’ve only a small scrap of energy left for training our children. So much of the day feels like it’s just reacting to miniature crises, correcting a wrong-course rather than actually steering the ship in any direction.
Anybody else?
And even though I know it is gigantic no-no #1 to compare our children (or ourselves) to others, anybody ever look around and think, “Am I the only one who’s havin’ a parental MELT DOWN?” I mean so-an-so’s two-year-old is reciting Scripture for crying out loud and mine is throwing himself on the floor because he wants to take the toy from the nursery home! Good grief.
Maybe it’s just the season I’m in. Joy was just saying the other day that when her son was small she didn’t notice the naughty things he did until they moved in with her parents. Then, in someone else’s house, SO many things seemed to surface. Oh boy! Yes! In the course of a few weeks transitioning from one child to two, then to living in someone else’s house, I feel like I went from smooth-sailing suntanning on the cruise-ship deck to large-scale melt-down in no time flat.
So tonight all I wanted to do was say, hey this is where I’m at. I pray tonight for myself and for any of you out there who ever feel like this… Father, our Perfect Parent who perfectly models parenthood for us, please help us. Please give us grace, strength, and resolve. Please help us not to feel overwhelmed or discouraged, but challenged and bold. Help us to be consistent, help us to be calm, patient, loving, and firm. Help us know what to major on, what to let go. Help us see our children’s hearts and help us to know Yours. Please encourage all of us moms tonight who need Your touch. And give our children obedient hearts. May their lives glorify You. We love you and need You God. Please help us. Amen.
6 thoughts on “A Prayer for Parents”
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Amen. I totally hear you Kari! I’ve thought all those same things before. In fact there was one season of life when Jude was first diagnosed with hypoglycemia and he was really, really fussy all the time because he didn’t feel well and his blood sugar was always low. And at the same time he had a bad stutter because he was in that transition of growing a lot verbally. And at that same time I was in our women’s Bible study and everyone could hear my kid crying in the nursery for most of the study… I felt like a total failure. Especially because after the Bible study I’d see all the other kids who seemed so perfect… and my life seemed really out of control with a kid that didn’t appear to be thriving. 🙂
But now 6 months later things are looking much different! No more stutter, blood sugar under control, a kid who doesn’t cry more than 1 minute when dropped off at the nursery… and yes, we’ve entered the “terrible 3’s” which seem completely overwhelming as far as disciplining attitude goes, but I know that it has to be normal!
Whenever I tell Josh that I have mommy guilt about something he says, “What? A mom feel guilty? Yeah, that’s not normal.” And I realize he’s right. Who doesn’t have mommy guilt? 🙂 Great friends of ours once said, “Your kids are not your report card”. That’s still hard for me to believe, but I have to remind myself of that when I’m having a low day. 🙂
I love your prayer!
Love you!
B
Oh man thank you friend!! I guess what I really needed was another mom to squeeze my hand and wink and say, “I understand. It’s gonna be ok.” Thankful for you, Bethany! And I must report today we went to the library and Dutch totally obeyed the whole time…little victories! Thank You Jesus!
Yep Kari! That is totally normal. And I know I feel it the most when I feel overwhelmed with other things in life. Kids are sick, and not at their best. I’m sick and not at my best. There are a ton of things that have to happen…and so on. You’ve gone to the perfect help though…cause God knows you, He knows your kids and if you seek you will find the answer. It isn’t always easy or fun, but you and your child/ren will grown and be better off for it. It will get easier, I can see the growth and change in my life and in my children…and I am just seeing the beginning of it. And really what is going on is a growth spurt. You are being pushed into a whole new game and you are not sure just yet how to play it. You will get the hang of it, and figure it out again. 🙂 Praying for you guys!
Johannah
I remember (more than once!) crying and despairing that I wasn’t being the grown-up; You were pretty strong-willed; BUT look how you turned out, in spite of me and my mistakes.
LOVE YOU, Mom
Oh Amen sister! I have felt that way many times and still do actually. This past month I have felt like I was hanging by a very thin thread with my teenagers and asking myself, “have we taught them nothing?!” It’s a roller coaster ride for sure girl and sometimes I have to get off and throw up and other times I’m like YIPPY! Lets do it again! (:
I loved the prayer!!! I am saving it to say daily! Thanks Kari!