A Higher Standard–pride?

This week has been great–I’ve had the privilege of spending time with some different friends who are just so refreshing.   One is a more recent friend, whose Meier’s-Briggs personality is identical to mine (INTJs unite!), and yet we’re totally different too. What I love though is that she shows me things about myself  and about life that I never saw were there, and there’s a quality to her that I so desire more of.  I guess I just respect her a lot and love spending time with her.

Another friend is not a recent friend–she’s an old friend, a long-time friend who visited from California.  We go way back to early college-years. And What was so precious and just such a treasure about being with her was that shared history, those deep roots that even though we now live in different states and haven’t seen each other in 1 1/2 years, we can pick up in a heartbeat and talk non-stop all night long.  We can instantly jump into the deep waters of what God is doing.  We speak the same language. We know each other’s heart.  AH! There’s just nothing like it.

Then tonight I had the honor of hanging with the small group girls.  We are all in the same Bible study small group, and have formed a remarkable bond in a very short time. It’s really amazing.  They all came over for a hang out night. And then later in the evening I got to have a cool, eye-opening conversation with one particular friend, who I used to live next door to and therefore used to see several times a week as we’d go walking and hang out often. I don’t get to see her nearly as much anymore.  But I always learn so much from her life.

What she shared honestly about was an area in her life that she obsesses about, as in she holds herself to a super high standard, even though in countless other areas she’s relaxed, laid-back, free, able to laugh at herself, etc.  But in this one area it’s humorous–very humorous as she’s recounting story after story–to see how this obsession with “excellence” has impacted her life, and, she would say, damaged it as well.

It was like looking at a mirror!  Isn’t it cool how talking with brothers and sisters in Christ helps us see things in our own lives?  We were talking about how there’s always an issue below the issue–and that issue in this case is control, and holding oneself to a way higher standard than you expect others to live by, which can appear to be good and godly and maybe even humble, but that really is self-seeking and prideful.  And, the point she made is that we can wave off other people’s small shortcomings because we really don’t care that much, but can magnify ours because we’re preoccupied with ourselves.

Ugh.  Yes.  I would never expect a friend to always say the right thing, do the right thing, have the wise thing to say, have the right answer, etc. Then why do I think that I have to?  Another friend tonight was pointing out that I always say something self-deprecating, like in a joking way, every single time we get together. What is that?

It’s like all this stems from this stupid pride of holding ourselves to a higher standard.  It’s like I think I have to have it all together, even though I don’t expect everyone else to have it all together, so then when I very obviously do not have it all together (and who said I had to?!), I have to point it out and joke about it, instead of just letting it lie as it lies.  It is what it is.

Haha, guess what? I just typed, “This is a really jumbled post–sorry I’m all over the place.”  and then realized I was doing it again!  Apologizing for a jumbled post.  Is a jumbled post a sin?  No!  Do I expect all bloggers everywhere to never write a jumbled post? No!  Is it ok to just share my heart and thoughts and not have it neatly tied up in a 3-point sermon? Yes! (at least I think so!).  So I’m not apologizing.

I had a fun week. I love friends who show me Christ, show me truth, and bless me with their life.  Thanks, guys. Let’s do it again sometime.