A Dinosaur

The other day a dear friend was over with her two small boys (Just now Dutch looked up from his excavator and dump truck and sounding exasperated said, “I’m trying to work!” haahaa).  So she came over with her boys who are almost two and almost four, and we watched in amazement at the blur of blond-hair whirling around the house chasing, wrestling, playing trucks and trains and zoo animals. 

Near the end of the visit, the almost four-year-old came up to me and said with a huge grin, “I’m getting a dinosaur for my birthday!”  My eyes widened and I looked at his mom.  “He’s been asking Jesus for a toy dinosaur for his birthday,” she explained.  “Yeah,” he chimed in, his eyes sparkling, “I’m getting a dinosaur!” 

That’s stuck with me all week.  It’s been an emotional roller-coaster of a week. We move tomorrow. Our house is in boxes. Tuesday was probably the most discouraged I’ve felt in a loooong time…and unfortunately for Jeff I decided it was his fault. 😉 Our hot water was out, things were crazy at home, and basically I was just a big mean person.  I felt confused by conviction, wanting to surrender everything to God yet feeling discouraged with even how to do that.  Everything just felt awful. 

Then Wednesday our house sold (that we’ve been praying for more months to sell!). Yeah, talk about swinging up to the heights of celebration!  It’s amazing–though we try not to be influenced by circumstances, let me tell you I certainly am!  We were bouncing off the walls we were so excited.  This meant we could try to buy a house! This meant an end was in sight to the craziness!  YIPEE!!!  Now all we can say is how faithful God is, how good He is, how amazing He is (and He IS!). 

Yesterday in the midst of my enthusiasm, a totally discouraging curveball came our way.  Within the hour I was back down the dumps of discouragment…no, actually I was angry.  Fuming is more like it.  I felt like after committing to do good it had got me stabbed straight in the back. Rather than keeping my eyes fixed on how good and gracious and faithful and wonderful my Heavenly Father is, I was stewing and frustrated.

Jeff was just the solid pillar that I needed. And he reminded me, “Hon don’t let this steal your joy.”  And I knew that’s what I was doing, letting a circumstance steal my joy. So, I turn the only place I know to turn: God’s Word. I opened my BIble to where I was reading in the NT and guess where I was?!  Luke 6: 

“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.  To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer your other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back.  And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.  If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you?  For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to recieve, what credit is that to you?  Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.  Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

Ouch. Yeah, I like to be good and gracious and giving to those who are good and gracious and giving to me.  Ouch ouch ouch.  This is a wonderful passage to read.  Cloaks and tunics don’t mean much to us.  Sure I’ll give someone my jacket or t-shirt. No big deal.  You can even slap my cheek if you want.  No biggee.  But what if “cloak and tunic” did mean something. Much more. Much much much more.  What then?  What about when the nice flowery passage might cost you something?  Grr… Ok, Lord.

But as I prayed and asked God to change my heart, somehow by some miracle giving me a heart of love and grace, I was reminded of the little boy whose eyes sparkled with joy as he told me he was getting a dinosaur for his birthday. 

Of course he’s getting a dinosaur.  Later his mom said, “We’re so excited to give him a dinosaur.  it’s been so sweet to see him asking Jesus.”  Now yes, there will be plenty of times when this little boy won’t get what he wants.  But with his precious little childlike faith, which totally surpasses my own, he looked forward with delighted anticipation of the dinosaur he was getting.  He didn’t stress or worry. He didn’t check his parents’ checkbook to see if they’d purchased it yet. He didn’t fret about the economy and whether there would be money enough in his parents’ account. He didn’t shop online to make sure the dinosaurs didn’t get sold out.  He didn’t look frantically for coupons on the newspaper for discounts on dinosaurs. He just asked Jesus, and waited patiently, know the character of God and the character of His parents.  And of course I thought of Matthew 7:11

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

God is not my genie. He is under NO OBLIGATION whatsoever to grant any request I ever ask.  In Christ I have all I ever could need.  But I can also rest assured, just like the four-year-old boy, that what we ask for will be provided. It might not be in my timing, and it might not be exactly how I want it to look. But it will be good.  Because God is good. Because His character is good. Because He is always doing that which glorifies Himself. Because the best place for us to be is right in the center of His will.  Because joy and pleasure and true riches are found in Him.

So by faith today I’m just saying, as best as I know how, with a sparkle in my eye, that I’m getting a dinosaur.  Not sure when, and not sure what my dinosaur will look like. But I bet he’ll be big and scary and awesome because that’s the kind of Daddy I have.  I’m sure thankful for the inspiration of children…and speaking of, I have one on my lap right now who wants to read a fish book. Time to go…