When your motives are misunderstood …

{Remembering this …}

I can see in my children’s eyes when I’ve mis-judged their actions. Just today I was in the kitchen and called Heidi in to me as I had heard her being rude to Dutch. She dawdled (was not obeying) and I thought I overheard Dutch say, “You’re getting a spank!” In my mind this was taunting her and if he rejoices over another’s discipline he gets to share in the same discipline. So I called him in as well.

As soon as I told him the charge I could see it in his eyes. Panic. Hurt. True, honest confusion and panic. His lip quivered.

“Mommy, I didn’t! I wasn’t! I was warning her that if she didn’t obey you she would get a spank! I was helping her!” And I know my boy and the look in his eyes–he was telling the truth. I apologized for mis-judging him and let him go. Surely there are plenty of occasions where his actions and motives are wrong, but this was not one.

The hurt in his eyes stuck with me because I’ve known that same feeling. We all have. I remember the Coffee Shop incident from Santa Clara, and the words, “Well, since your heart’s not in it…” I remember another scenario in the not-so-distance-past of having my motives misunderstood, what it’s like to have someone judge the condition of your heart and be painfully amiss. I start to feel physically sick even writing about it — it hurts.

And, sadly, I’m sure that I have misjudged others’ motives at times.

We’re such a fallen lot, aren’t we?

Those of us still limping through a people-pleasing addiction can find this misjudgment crippling.  But there’s someone inspiring who didn’t let it get him down at all. And we are wise to write our troubles in dust and our blessings in marble.

Instead of nursing the wound of misjudgment, let it slip off and move forward in courage.

Like David. 

Do you remember when Goliath defied the army of God? Do you remember how everyone was scared to death? Well David had been tending sheep but his dad, Jesse, had commanded him to take provisions for his brothers who were in the army camp. So he obeyed His father and did it. When he arrived, Goliath was breathing his threats, and David inquired  about who would fight him and what would be done for the man who did. And, it seems, as God was putting it in his heart to fight this battle, check out the encouragement he receives from his older brother, Eliab:

“And Eliab’s anger was kindled against David, and he said, ‘Why have you come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your presumption and the evil of our heart, for you have come down to see the battle.’” (1 Sam 17:28)

Ouch. Talk about mis-judged motives. David was simply obeying his father and then obeying his God.

But what does David do? Does he pout, all upset about being mis-judged? Nope. He does simply say, “What have I done?” and then…

“He turned away from him toward another…” (v. 29)

He just turned away. He let it go. He turned to someone else. He knew that THAT was not the battle to fight.

There were bigger battles to fight.

Too often, sweet friends, we (I) can get so hurt and bent out of shape over the Eliab-remarks and we forget the fact that there’s a way bigger battle going on. The battle for souls, for the gospel, for lives. Will we stay distracted and wounded by the misjudgment or will we move on to pursue the Kingdom of God?

Can you hear my heart? It does hurt to be misjudged, but we can move on to greater things. Remember what the real battle is.

By God’s grace, victory can be ours. 

A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

{Praying for the grace and wisdom to overlook an offense today. Thank you so much for reading!}