So glad to have Caila with us again today. Her words are a treasure! Enjoy…
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I don’t know why, but Sunday mornings are always difficult for our family. Getting the five of us up, fed, clean, dressed and out the door requires creativity and management skills beyond anything I was ever taught in college. Throw in all the paraphernalia that comes along with babies—diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, baby sling, blankets, etc.—and we look like a three ring circus.
Most Sundays we are a little late to church. Every Sunday I’m a lot frustrated.
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Around seven, the alarm goes off (he’s a six-month-old roly-poly blonde) and I roll out of bed. Another Sunday and today it’s going to be different. Today I’ll shower first so I can get all the kids ready after they eat. We’ll get to church early because it’s the Spring Picnic and there will be a lot of guests to meet. And I can’t forget sunscreen…and hats…and chairs…and…
I’m tired already. Jump in the shower and pull on the new clothes I recently stitched by hand. They feel good on because they actually fit, but I look closer and frown at my stomach. After three babies things just aren’t the same. I throw on a tight under-tank to hide the lines and call it good.
I pull a bag out from under the sink, thinking my new makeup will help. Ten minutes later I realize it’s too much and try to wipe some off. Try again. I turn the drier on my hair but my roots are showing, and dang it, why does it take so much work to be beautiful?
Now I’m in a bad mood. And why aren’t the kids eating breakfast? I start firing off commands. Why aren’t your clothes on? Didn’t I tell you three times to find your shoes? No, you can’t take your blankie to church.
Brian’s shooting me looks and I can feel the frown on my face, the creases on my forehead. Try to tell myself,stop. Be kind. You’re being ridiculous.
Later in the car, with the air conditioning pointed full-blast on my flushed face, I close my eyes. Hear my words again in my head. So much work to be beautiful, and yet what does it matter if the inside is ugly?
There it is: the heart of the matter. All that time sewing, all the money spent on new makeup, all the hours spent exercising, what does it matter if the inside isn’t pretty?
So I turn and apologize, squeeze Brian’s hand. Smile. Tell them all they are the most wonderful people in the world.
My family’s nice enough to compliment my new skirt or my hair, but what they really need from me is my patience and my love. I don’t need new makeup to be a good mom, or nice hair to be a good wife. I don’t even need to lose weight to have a wonderful life! Obviously I don’t want to be hideous, but truly, I can be a better wife just being confident in who God made me to be.
I think it’s time to exchange my “body-image” for a godly image of myself. Who does God want me to be? How can I bless those he’s given me to care for and love?
The great thing is that this exchange can happen as I kneel in the morning to thank God for the day, or from my shower in the morning, or while I push the kids in the stroller. It doesn’t cost a lot of money, doesn’t require surgery and won’t run out or go bad in five to ten years.
Now that’s a realistic option for this busy momma.
I want the kind of beauty that will last a lifetime, an eternity. The kind of beauty that will shade my children as they grow and give my husband the courage to face what this world might bring.
It has nothing to do with my face, and everything to do with my heart.
Thank you for coming along on this journey with me. You are all, truly, beautiful women. I hope you find the confidence to embrace it and show it today!
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Caila Murphy is a mother to three, married to the love of her life, who loves to sew and write. She blends these two passions together at Caila-Made, where she shares tutorials and chronicles the ins and outs of this beautiful, crazy life.
12 thoughts on “Because what does it matter if the inside isn't pretty?”
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Caila, I love this post so much! You’re a gem. xoxo
Oh, Kari, thank you! YOU are a gem. Thank you for letting me share in this space! 🙂
Caila, I love it: “Trading body-image for Godly-image”! It reminds me of my favorite verse in Proverbs 31 is verse 30: “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised”. Before verse 30 we read everything she did, and the beautiful things that came from them. Then we get to verse 30 and the verse says that it’s the fear of the Lord that makes her praiseworthy. I truly believe that it’s her fear of the Lord the lead her to be the woman she was not her will to do and be it all. Her heart was right with God. I personally need to let go of the try-hard life. I’m rambling. Thanks for sharing, Caila- I need the reminder that “It has nothing to do with my face, and everything to do with my heart”!
Jennifer, you are such a dear and always SO encouraging. Thank you so much for sharing that verse. You are so right! I need that peace in my heart that comes from walking in the fear of the Lord. Thanks so much for sharing! Bless you, girl!
Love this and so true. Sunday mornings are always so hard. I always laugh to myself (or maybe God laughs at me) b/c we’re supposed to be going to focus on and worship God and yet it certainly isn’t how my Sunday morning starts. One thing I’ve done to help make Sunday’s better is to skip the Sunday A.M. shower. It makes my personal get ready time alot faster. Just a thought
Thanks, Candi! And it’s such a great idea to skip the morning shower before church. During pregnancy and while breastfeeding I’m always so sweaty and gross come morning (does that happen to anyone else?), so I haven’t been able to do this. But my youngest has weaned, so I bet I could work on making it a part of my weekend routine. Thanks for the suggestion!
Thank you for these humbling words. God bless you.
Thanks so much for reading, Kristin!
I love this! Before we were married I used to watch young families sort of ‘trudge’ into church, looking haggard. Well, at least the mom looked haggard. And yet week after week, they came. When we got married and had you and Kyle, this same pattern emerged; I realized that the difficulties were a bit like Lewis approaching Ransom’s cottage (in ‘Perelandra’), going through the phalanx of Enemy to get there. But Lewis kept walking, and we kept coming. By the end of the service, the Way had cleared up, and the Truth overcame. Hurrah!
Mom, that is such a great example of what we all walk through on Sunday morning! And you’re always there on our Sunday mornings, watching, hearing me repent once the frustration has passed and reminding me that too soon the time will come when I’m only getting myself ready for church in the mornings. Thanks so much for always helping me maintain the correct perspective. Love you!
Thank you for sharing Caila! I feel like I go through this a little bit in my life as it currently is; but I know that it will be different, maybe even magnified, once I start having children. I’ve thought a lot about recently about training my thoughts to take a back seat to my heart. In a person’s heart there is treasure. It is where the Holy Spirit speaks, where God leads, and how Jesus transforms us. Our own pesky thoughts tend to send our emotions, our days, our life’s into a whirlwind; and if we aren’t careful we can wake up and realize that we aren’t living in God’s truth, and in who He has made us to be. I just wholeheartedly agree with you, dear friend! I miss receiving these gems of ‘Caila’s Heart’ in person, but reading them from another State will just have to do 😉 Love you!
Alicia, you dear girl, yes! It is such a wonderful idea to train your thoughts NOW, so they don’t run away with you later. The more you practice this before you have children, the better you’ll be able to handle challenging situations when you’re tired but little eyes are watching you. I love you, friend!