Imagine you went to a marriage conference. The conference speaker stood and up and said, “Here’s how to have a successful date-night experience with your spouse:
“You need to go out every Friday night at 7:15pm. You should wear black slacks and a tie, and your wife needs to wear a purple dress (preferably sleeveless). Make sure she has on earrings and you wear cologne. Drive about 20 minutes, and go to Stanfords. Be sure to have waitress Ann. Sit in the corner booth at the Northwest corner of the restaurant. Hold hands across the table and then order the buffalo wings and have your wife order a Caesar salad. Tell the waitress a joke about the crab that walked into a bar, and then wink at your wife and squeeze her hand. Finish the night by at home with a glass of wine, then …”
You can see where this is headed. It’s ridiculous. Obviously that man had had a fabulous experience taking his wife to Stanfords some Friday night and thought her purple dress was smokin’ hot. But that’s for them. Your successful date night might look just like or it might look completely different. There are surely some components that will successfully transfer (men, smelling good is always a good idea), but the speaker has taken something that should be descriptive and he’s made it prescriptive.
We sometimes slip into this, don’t we? (raising my hand)
I wholeheartedly believe that sharing our stories is one of the most powerful ways that God communicates His work, truth, love, power, with the world around us. We were meant to share our stories. God has often spoken to me through the stories of others. But sometimes we can slip from simply describing an encounter with God and begin prescribing an encounter with God. (Or prescribing any number of things!)
One option — that many take — is just to not share personal stories at all. I know our college pastor never felt comfortable sharing personal stories because he didn’t want college students to feel like that had to be their story. A good caution, to be sure. But perhaps he erred too far in the other direction? I for one wanted to hear his stories. I love hearing others’ stories. In fact, I often think of some friends of ours who don’t have children, and wish they had kids just so I could hear the hilarious and insightful stories they would undoubtedly have.
So how do we share our stories without doing what the speaker did above? We do just that, right? We share them. We describe a story, we don’t prescribe a regimen. Do lessons usually surface? Yes! I believe the story from yesterday that I described does have a lesson — listen to God! 🙂 But the lesson is NOT that you need to get up at 4am, run a 10k, or write a book.
Isn’t it freeing to describe instead of prescribe?
(BTW, I know that I am the one most guilty of this. And I can’t promise I’ll never slip into it or do it again. Grace, ok? I’m learning, along with you …)
{Thanks for letting me learn, grow, and continue to share my stories … and thanks for so patiently and faithfully reading them.}
2 thoughts on “When we slip from describing to prescribing …”
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Man this was nice to hear! I remember growing up I always had my quiet time tucked into bed at night. I loved it. I looked forward to it each night! Ah, my time alone with God at the end of my day and then I could talk to him and not feel rushed at all!! But then I got really involved in my church in high school and college and repeatedly heard, “EARLY do I seek thee”, or I remember one woman in leadership sharing that she got up at 4am and had her quiet time in her cold basement because the cold helped her wake up, or the college helper who shared that he wouldn’t have breakfast until he had first feasted on the Word of God. So I tried really hard for a couple of years and just couldn’t will myself to get up before school or class no matter how hard I tried (I was also working full time when going to school). I just WASN’T a morning person AT ALL!!! And I loved my unrushed night time routine, but felt so guilty that I wasn’t doing it “right”, like everyone else. 🙁 Anyway, all that to say, it took me too many years to realized that God doesn’t care. He wants me to meet with him, and doesn’t care at what hour. 🙂 I feel silly looking back, but a good lesson for me nontheless! 🙂 Thanks for your post, Kari.
Oh Bethany, thank you so much for sharing this. SOO good. I’ve probably been that girl that’s read the EARLY verse out loud too often! I cannot even function at night I’m so tired and so mornings are perfect for me (although as the years go by I don’t think I’m a morning or night person … kind of a mid-day girl now–pathetic. 🙂
Anyway, thanks for sharing this. You’re right. There is no “right” time to spend with God. It’s like how Jeff always says the BEST Bible translation is the one you read. Just do it! Love you girl.