The Gift of Whatever

Kari Patterson > Devotional Thoughts > The Gift of Whatever
Devotional Thoughts, My name is Mommy10 Comments0

I had gotten up early. Everything was ready. The baby Jesus doll was hidden. Gifts were wrapped. Cinnamon rolls were formed, rising, ready to bake.

My 4-year-old son was the first to rise. He shuffled downstairs, carrying his new Lightning McQueen car he’d received for his birthday just four days prior.

I bound over, excited. “Good morning, sweetie! Do you know what today is?”

He rubs his eyes, scrunches up his face. “Can I play with my toys?”

I continue: “It’s Christmas! Isn’t that exciting?! And now you get to look for baby Jesus!”

He runs over to the couch, hides his face in a pillow. “I don’t want to look! I want to play!”

“But … after we find baby Jesus we can open your presents!” My mind races. We’re supposed to be at my parents’ house at 10am. We still have to do baby Jesus, open gifts, and deliver hot cinnamon rolls to a family down the road.

My son starts to cry. “I don’t want to open presents! I just want to play with my toys.”

This is unbelievable. I shake my head. What child doesn’t want to open presents? Why is my family always the one where nothing goes right?

I promise him there are more toys to be had, and we finally get him to the tree. He opens a box, a gift sent from a relative. It’s a package of socks. His face falls. Now I’m irate. Really? Come on people, I’m trying to get my kid excited about Christmas and you gave him socks for crying out loud!

“Mommy, I don’t want socks I just want to play with my toys!” Now he’s crying and I’m on the verge.

Eventually we make it out the door. My dear husband, wanting to cheer me up, suggests we stop at Starbucks. He runs in while I stay in the car. It takes him another fifteen minutes because the line is so long. Seriously, people, it’s Christmas! Go home and be with your families! By now we’re an hour late and it shows on my face. I know I’m being ridiculous, but I’m on the verge of tears. Why am I so irrational? It’s Christmas!

Eventually, we make it to the family’s house to deliver the cinnamon rolls. We’ve been doing the Twelve Days of Christmas and it’s our day to reveal ourselves.  Their whole family comes out on the porch, all hugs and laughter and genuine joy. I notice they’re all still in jammies. I ask about their day, what their plans are, still struck by how happy they all are.

The mom smiles and responds, “Oh we just relax, stay in our jammies all day. We play games or do something fun. You know, whatever.”

Whatever.

That’s what I’m missing.

The gift of whatever. When we give our family our expectations, everybody loses. We wrap up our ideals, our dreams of the “perfect” day, and then expect them to perform according to our plan. When they don’t, we’re frustrated. All in the name of the most wonderful time of the year.

What if, instead of giving expectations, we gave the gift of whatever. If we decided that whatever happened on a holiday, we’d be happy and thankful. That the only expectations we had were for ourselves, expecting ourselves to be kind. Expecting ourselves to be gracious. Expecting ourselves to be willing to go with whatever.

The gift of whatever might be just what our families need. A fun, flexible holiday where the only thing that’s set in stone is the certainty of joy.

{Over with my favorite Frugalistas today at FrugalLivingNW. Come join us!  I pray you have the gift of whatever under your tree this year … Thanks for reading…}

 

10 thoughts on “The Gift of Whatever”

  1. such a GREAT reminder! my family was pretty much a whatever family on christmas day and now my ‘new’ family is planning on being the same – with the exception of church – which is just up the road, so not really all that difficult to get to. we’ve been invited to so much and people look at us with confusion when we say it will just be ‘us’ on christmas day, but honestly? i’m so looking forward to it all…hoping your ‘whatever’ christmas is joyful too!

  2. This year is the first in our six years of marriage where we will be home on Christmas day. I’m so excited for the “whatever” that we get to have together. I love that we will get to do things with our extended family before Christmas day and then have the day to just relax and be with our kids. Thanks for the reminder!

  3. I am thankful that this year our “family” Christmas celebrations are on the 17th (my family) and 24th (husband’s family), so we can be alone on Christmas for WHATEVER! I did invite my dad over for dinner on Christmas, as he is divorced and alone, no siblings or parents still alive. He will no doubt watch football games with my son all day! Just like when I was growing up.

  4. Yes! My own childhood Christmases were spent shuffling between four houses: mom, dad and stepmom, aunt, and stepmom’s parents. Yikes! I make a special effort to ensure that my children get plenty of “whatever” on Christmas. I plan a weekend day for each set of grandparents to have their special time with the kiddos a few weeks before Christmas. My mom lives in our town, so she comes over on Christmas morning. Then on Christmas Day evening, I open our home to whoever wants to join us for cookies and coffee. Thanks for the encouraging and validating post! Like someone else commented, not everyone understands it, but this is what works for our family.

  5. Oh, Kari…this is so good!!! I grew up in a whatever family, but did not marry into one.
    Every year our plans get a little more relaxed & a lot less complicated. It is wonderful! Someday, Emily, maybe my Christmas will look like yours…it sounds blissful!
    Until then, I remind myself that every other day of my life I can be a “whatever” mom, but Easter, Thanksgiving & Christmas we bounce around from house to house & do our best to be on time. 😉
    p.s….I am still bummed I didn’t get to chime in on the “how do you do it all series”. I loved everything you shared & loved thinking about the ins and outs of my days…strategies for doing it all and the grace I extend to myself when I simply cannot even come close. And of course, I liked thinking about the things I do not do, but would like to. Thanks friend!!!

  6. Amen!! Well said. Pastor Dale’s sermon was on this exact topic last weekend….it was amazing. Love and prayers my friend.

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