College was such a sweet time for my walk with the Lord. As I entered college I wanted to follow Jesus with all of my heart, but had no idea how. I’d never had a regular quiet time, had never been discipled, had never consistently read my Bible, and had a prayer life that mostly consisted of “flare prayers”, desperate pleas for help in dire relational circumstances. So when I started college I bought this really cheesy book with flowers all over the cover called Fifteen Minutes Alone with God. Yes, you guessed it, the gist of the book was learning to spend quality time with God. Then, I remember in a little Bible study, Jeremy Stewart suggesting that we all do this really cool thing called “30 minutes a day”…he called it a “quiet time.” What was a “quiet time”, I asked myself. It sounded kind of like something you make your toddler do when they’ve been naughty. But I loved the 30-minute idea, and so I dove in religiously, spending time reading my Bible and praying every day. The next year I bought another kind of cheesy book with flowers all over the cover (I don’t know what it was with me and flowers) called Calm My Anxious Heart. That one was amazing for me. It was all about contentment, and it truly changed my life. The book talked about a woman named Ella who worked as a missionary with the pygmies in Africa for 52 years. She left her family, her country, and all that was familiar. She lived in unreal circumstances, in the scorching heat and humidity of the African bush in sub-primitive conditions. Some days it was so unbearably hot she had to bring the thermometer inside because it couldn’t register past 120 degrees without breaking. Years after Ella’s death, her daughter Mimi found an old diary of Ella’s that had this prescription for contentment:

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~Never allow yourself to complain about anything — not even the weather.

~Never picture yourself in any other circustmance or someplace else.

~Never compare your lot with another’s.

~Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.

~Never dwell on tomorrow — remember that is God’s, not ours.

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I remember being amazed at this little secret. I wrote these out and put them in my Bible, I reread them over and over until they were etched in my heart. But that was almost 9 years ago. The etching has worn down, so that today as I recalled them I had to go back and find the book to copy them down for you here. It’s obvious I haven’t only forgotten them in my mind, but I’ve forgotten them in my heart.

Yesterday, during my wonderful day in Corvallis visiting friends, I had the joy of meeting up with Caila, a long time friend who is a kindred spirit in every way. Right now she lives in a state she does not consider home, in a studio apartment with her husband and toddler son–a studio, which means that the kitchen=the bedroom=the nursery=the living room. They do have a separate bathroom where their son naps! Her attitude is awesome, and she shared yesterday that at Christmas she and her husband made a pact that they would choose to never complain about their circumstances. Wow. Amen! I was so humbled by this. We have had this amazing opportunity this year, a chance to both go to seminary, to live on virtually nothing, and to have the joy of seeing Dutch play with his grandparents every day. But how much of it I’ve wasted through simply complaining, through choosing to not follow those simple five rules listed above.

Look back at that list and read it again slowly. Think about the implications for your own life. For this weeks’ challenge, I thought we’d take a week to focus on ourselves, on our speech, on the way that we can choose to LiveDifferent from the rest of the world by refusing to complain. I love that Ella says to refuse to complain–even about the weather. How easy it is as Oregonians to just casually complain about the rain. We use it as a conversation starter, but it conditions us to think negatively about this beautiful state we live in! Or, more pertinant to the current economic landscape, how often do we complain about rising gas prices, the pitiful housing market, the steep rise of food costs. Every day we can choose how to look at our situation.  Re-write that first rule and insert whatever it is the most tempts you to complain. For example, “Never allow yourself to complain about anything — not even our financial and housing situation.” Or perhaps yours is something else–it may be small or petty or it may be a significant trial, but make a decision today to LiveDifferent from the world–instead of complaining, griping, and grumbling about it, we can set our mind on God. Even if we have internal strife about it, even if daily we’re flooded with negative emotions, we can choose how we will communicate about it. Proverbs 29:11 says a fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. Let’s be wise about our words, because our words impact our perspective and our lives.

And please don’t get me wrong. There is a place for heartfelt complaint, for a cry to God when we hurt or when we don’t understand. Psalm 142:2 says “I pour out my complaint to [God], before Him I tell my trouble.” Prayers of complaint are neither commended or condemned in Scripture, they are simply recorded. But it is safe to say that if we are in desperate need of pouring out our hearts in complaint, God is the safest person to talk to.

So rather than attack all 5 of those contentment rules, let’s just attack the first. This week, let’s purpose in our hearts to never complain, not even about ______.  (Insert your thing) Make your reminder. Put it on post-it notes and put it on the bathroom mirror, next to your bed, in your Bible. Ask your spouse or roommate to hold you accountable. Let’s choose to–ok, gotta go, mommyhood calls (but I’m not complaining!)…Let’s choose to rejoice, let’s choose to see the good.  The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places (Ps. 16:6)…I’ve no complaints.

3 thoughts on “LiveDifferent Challenge (9): No Complaints”

  1. Ouch! This hits close to home. Thanks, Kari, for sharing these thoughts I am putting copies where I can find them. Mom

  2. I like this. This will be good for me to put into practice. I also like what Caila and her husband have committed to do. This will spark some nice discussion with Jake. Thanks!! Oh and I read them to my mom, she really liked them too.

  3. Kari,
    Awesome challenge! I really believe this is a difference people will notice in our lives. When we realize that everything in our lives is “Father filtered” as you like to call it, we find no room for complaints. 🙂 I’m going to memorize the prescription for contentment! Love you, Caila.

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