The Problem With Beautiful

Hello again! This is Caila, stepping in for Kari while she is on vacation. You can read more about me on my blog, CailaMade. Thanks for reading! 

I lay on the bed, weeping. Sobs racked throughout my body, causing me to inwardly cringe at my own weakness. My husband’s hand rubbed paths along my shoulder blades. He was understandably lost for words.

I had just returned from speaking in front of our church’s moms group. It was a simple affair. I shared some of the challenges and successes I’ve had over the past few years at becoming a better housewife. I wasn’t preaching to the masses, or running a giant crusade, or being interviewed on the Today Show. I simply stood and shared with the women of our church about an issue we all had in common. No big deal.

Except now I was sobbing my heart out on our bed, with a very bewildered husband at my side. And I was weeping over the very silliest reason of them all.

I didn’t feel beautiful.

Beauty had nothing to do with our moms’ discussion that night. It is a weakness I’ve struggled with periodically, and which rears it’s head every time I feel vulnerable.

And I know, lovely friends, I’m not alone. 

Even from this distance I remember the heartbreak of that moment so clearly my eyes are actually tearing up. I feel ashamed of my raw, self-centered fears. But I’m sharing this in the hopes that another mom who is wrestling with the very same fear will feel un-alone and encouraged today. And I’m sharing because I truly believe that lies thrive in the darkness, and the moment we speak them out loud, shine the light of day on their wicked twisted untruths, they begin to lose their power.

So, here you go, Lies. I’m putting you out to die in the light. Good riddance. 

We all have moments of feeling less-than. Whether you struggle with feeling hip enough, or wealthy enough, or smart enough, or young enough, or pretty enough, you can find friends here. If you struggle with chasing beauty, well you and I can hang out because I’ve got your number sister and I know how it feels.

But we’ve got a problem. The problem with “beauty” is that the definition is always changing. Not only is the definition changing, but you and I are changing. What’s beautiful today, might not be beautiful in 20 years. And we, who might be beautiful today, will not look the same in 20 years.

Meanwhile, there is something forever valuable in the true beauty of a kind and loving spirit. There is beauty in self-sacrifice, in letting God mold us over time through His Spirit, into something truly, unutterably beautiful. 

And that beauty cannot fade over time. It cannot be altered by fads, and it cannot be faked by photo filters. Rather, it shines through the cracks and wrinkles of old age, it hovers peacefully around the young who have found their forgiveness and their place in Christ.

I am not beautiful because of my face. I am not beautiful because of my size, or because my jeans fit again two months after giving birth (they didn’t, by the way). I am not beautiful because of Mac makeup or Nordstrom clothes (I love both of those things). I am not beautiful because of Instagram filters, or styled photo shoots. I am not even beautiful just because my husband thinks I am, although God bless him foreverandeverandever because of it.

No, I am truly beautiful because God loved me. When he formed my body, He did not make a mistake. When he designed my life’s path, He did not rip me off. When He sent His son to die for the sins of the world, I was not excluded. I have this one beautiful chance, this life, to show that I trust Him enough to put my value completely in His hands.

Remember, sweet sister. Beautiful mamma. You do not need to do anything to be beautiful. You do not need to change yourself, beat yourself up, spend lots of money, or sweat it out, to be beautiful. Your value is already found in Him. Let Him grow a beauty out of you that can’t be stolen by years. And 30 or 40 years from now, all the young women will ask why we are so confident and happy and beautiful. And we will smile and tell them why.

*****

“Do not let your adorning be external…but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart.” 1 Peter 3:3-7