Sometimes a good enemy is our greatest asset.
We seldom think so though, right? I know if someone comes “against” me so to speak, whatever the situation, my first inclination is not to rejoice. We bristle under criticism and balk at those who don’t agree with us, brilliantly crafting arguments for why we are SO right (and awesome).
This weekend Jeff taught that we tend to be blind to our own faults, but hyper-aware of others. If someone else lies, “They’re a liar!” If we lie, “Well … it’s complicated.” Ha! Last year I read the phenomenal book I Told Me So, a brilliant look at our own tendency for self-deception. It’s a fabulous read–worth your time!
What does this have to do with our enemies?
Well, our enemies are actually our greatest asset in our venture to live free(r) or self-deception, to live a life of authenticity and integrity, actually being who we want to be. How so?
I recently was in an interpersonal challenge, and was struggling to love. For nearly a week, I was in default mode, i.e. coming up with a hundred arguments why I was right (and awesome) and another person was wrong (and not awesome). Somewhere along the line, however, God was so gracious and suggested to my heart that I go ahead and see myself the way this other person sees me. That is, the way my enemy sees me. He invited me to imagine, just for a moment, what that person would say if he or she was allowed to tear me apart limb for limb.
*Cringe face here*
Now some of you are shaking your head right now: Not a good idea, you are saying. I’m not advocating that we always see ourselves through the eyes of enemies, or that we doubt for a moment that we are loved and precious and accepted by God. That’s not what’s going on here. What I’m suggesting is that our enemies are actually helpful because they help us see our blind spots, the area of obvious sin or weakness, that we might be hiding from ourselves.
So I did this. It was so good.
Notice I didn’t say it was fun. But it was good. It helped me see some areas of pride and hypocrisy that, deep down, I knew my “enemy” (using that word loosely!), would spot in a split-second.
The benefit of this exercise was 2-fold. It highlighted some areas where my character really needs work. Really. But secondly, it helped me see the entire situation through the perspective of this other person and realized, “Wow, no wonder this person feels like that.” Not only that, this led me to consistently pray for this person out of a heart of love, genuinely asking for blessing, and the next thing I knew the “interpersonal challenge” began resolving!
Interpersonal insight AND increased empathy AND relational reconciliation. Wow, that’s a great deal!
And it all started with just listening a little closer to an enemy.
Of course I’m sure I’ll still bristle and balk and brilliantly craft self-promoting arguments the next time I face an enemy, but I pray God helps us be just a little quicker to see our own short-comings through the eyes of those who may not be a big fan of us.
And I pray we ask God to help us live in such a way that even our enemies have nothing against us, that our lives lead those around us to glorify God (1 Peter 2:12).
God give us the humility and grace to live this way. For your glory. Amen.
{Thanks for reading.}