LiveDifferent Challenge (11): Be a Loser!

So, yes, I am still on my “Is Competition Godly” kick? The one thing I love is that it certainly sparks discussion! Wow! People have opinions about this one! In fact, I posted the question on Facebook and was amazed when an awesome pastor friend of ours told me that this was the very topic of his Master’s Thesis in seminary! I guess it really matters!

Also, thank you to those of you who commented…I love that! I love getting feedback and hearing your thoughts. My sister-in-law is “foruming” on her blog right now and I love it because it’s so good to hear things from other people’s perspectives. But…it’s very rare to be able to dialog about things without getting…you guessed it(!)…competitive. I think that’s why it’s hard to discuss ideas without getting fired up because we have this gnawing thing inside us that doesn’t want to be wrong. Ugh! In fact, I had written a comment on her blog and then someone else kind of pointed out that my reasoning wasn’t so good (and she was right!). In my little heart, guess what? I got defensive inside! 🙂 I realized, Whoa Kari, you have a competitive little heart! So I stepped away from it and prayed and was then able to think clearly and not be so petty and then could go back in and discuss more with the goal of understanding more than being understood or of being right. It’s tricky, but what it reminded me was that first and foremost, if we’re going to discuss whether competition is godly, we must first acknowledge that we are all competitive. We all have this gnawing desire to be right. And I can guarantee you that that is nothing more than our selfish flesh. Some of this competition stuff is a no-brainer: The gnawing desire to always be right is pride. Pride = sin.

So, this is my best understanding of competition. Three Types of Competition: Selfish, Godly, and Neutral.

Selfish Competition is the opposite of Love: 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what love is. I LOVE the version in the Message (click to read it). Competition for the sake of self is the opposite of this. For example, Competition loves self more than others because it wants to win, Competition wants what it doesn’t have (lust for winning), Competition struts (watch the NBA), Competition has a swelled head (trash talking), Competition is “me first”, Competition keeps score, Competition revels when others grovel, Competition isn’t concerned for truth as much as concerned for self, Competition doesn’t put up with losing, Competition looks for faults in others, Competition nurses wounds over past losses. Competition is an unholy preoccupation with self.

Godly Competition is a wrestling against the forces of evil for the sake of Truth, Righteousness, Justice, Peace, etc.: So this morning as I was thinking and praying about this and this verse came to mind: Ephesians 6:12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Wrestling is warfare (and the context of this verse). Warfare is nothing more than competition! We are called to competition. We are called to compete, viciously, passionately, for the sake of truth, love, righteousness, justice. So when I see injustice, I am called to compete for justice. When I see sin, I am called to compete for righteousness. The goal is never self, the goal is to always be for the Kingdom of God to be furthered through the spread of the gospel, the proclamation of Truth, and the advocating of peace and justice. I compete for the gospel for the glory of God! WOOHOO! That’s awesome! Take your competitive drive and apply it to THIS! You got some spark? Get passionate for the glory of God!

Neutral Competition: This is the one that’s tricky, but someone said, perhaps there might be a neutral competition that is possible. I agree that just because competition produces a godly end does not mean that it is godly! We hopefully aren’t pragmatic if we’re Christians (although we all tend to be). So just because some abuse brings about events that lead to counseling that leads to a person coming to know Christ, that doesn’t mean that the abuse was godly. God takes all things and uses them for good (Hallelujah!), but what we’re trying to discover is that is competition in and of itself ever godly. We see above that yes it is. So, what about the stuff like sports and Scrabble? It sure is fun! I think that there is a neutral competition where two or more parties agree together that they will engage in a recreational game for a purpose such as building a relationship, getting exercise, or relieving stress (all good things!). This certainly isn’t always explicitly spoken, but using my example of Jeff and I playing cards in bed or my family playing pictionary at Thanksgiving, it is an unspoken agreement that we are playing for the sake of spending time together, and that the goal is relationship rather than selfish gain.

So, since this competition is nuetral, it therefore falls into the category of Romans 14: 14-23 (click to read). Basically, the rule would be the rule of love. Engage in competition as long as you do so out of faith, for the good of you and those around you, and not for selfish motivers. We’re free in that way, but our freedom is not a freedom to please ourselves but to please bless each other. And this is where individual personality/preference/position comes in. Some people are just more comfortable with competition than others. Some are able to easily engage in friendly games without it being selfish or uncomfortable. Others aren’t comfortable with it. Sometimes the difference has to do with our childhood or some experience that has made us more sensitive to it. That’s why we must just understand that it is neutral and that the point is the agreement that we are using competition as a neutral means of acheiving a positive end: relationship, exercise, stress relief (or other). Running a race as a fundraiser for cancer. Meeting up with a friend to run together in the mornings so you can challenge each other to get off the couch and get exercise. Playing Scrabble to engage in relationship (and better your brain!). Working hard in school for the sake of learning as much as you can or for earning scholarships (I’m all about secular scholarships paying for seminary!).

It’s about our Hearts. But here’s the thing, and I just gotta be real honest here. How many of us engage in competition with very pure motives? And even if we do, how often does our flesh get in there and next thing we know we are smiling but inside we have claws and fangs. I don’t feel this way with games, but I get this way with ideas, thoughts, opinions. All of a sudden, when I think I’m having a calm, loving discussion about something, I find this little monster growling inside me and realize my selfish competition, that drive to be right has set in. And I’m a Christian! What is a little scary to me is looking around and realizing what we’ve done with this neutral competition. Take professional sports for example. Neutral competition. A competition taken on by two parties who agree to engage in a sport for the purpose of exercise, stress relief, fun. And now we are crazy. We spend billions of dollars making idols out of people who have a talent for throwing around an orange ball. We value people based not on their status as human beings, but on their ability to win, succeed, achieve. It’s survival of the fittest. I know I’m probably biting off too much here, but will you just think about it with me for a little bit? Think about this competition. Just a few days ago I got my grades from seminary. I never used to pay attention but a few weeks ago I heard someone talking about their classrank. I had forgotten about class rank, but I found myself checking my grades online to see where I ranked. Now why would I do that? Yup. Competition. I recently attended my awesome friend Megan’s graduation who graduated law school with honors. Guess what thought went through my mind? It’d be fun if I graduated with honors at my graduation. What was that? A pure heart that just wants to learn as much as she can in seminary so she can honor God and serve the Lord? Nope. A competitive heart. Yes, it might drive me to excellence, but God doesn’t care about “excellence”, He cares about the heart.

I don’t want to go into specifics but God is challenging Jeff and me in this right now. We’re very eager for a certain situation, and yet we sense God telling us that we should give up our competition for this thing so that another brother may have an opportunity. That is, we sense that in order to compete for justice, godliness, and righteousness, we are to not compete on a human level. Backwards? Yeah. Profitable? Not in the here and now, but I know that nothing feels better than being right with God. We compete for His fame, His glory, His name. (Disclaimer: this is an unsual circumstance. Of course if you are interviewing for a job you greatly desire, do all you can to demonstrate the excellence to qualify for that job. But your goal is excellence and trust in God, not competition against others.)

So, I’m realizing I could write for weeks on this topic. Let’s end here. I know there are some loose ends, but will you just commit with me to think about this? Let’s examine our lives and see the areas where we are selfishly competitive. It’s not that our passion and zeal for competition is wrong, it’s just misplaced. Pleaes don’t hear that if you are a naturally competitive person that that is wrong. Not at all! Praise God for motivated, competitive, passionate people. There the ones who change the world! But let’s ask God to open our eyes to ways that we might let neutral competition become selfish. AnNd let’s engage in Godly Competition for the glory of God, for justice, truth, righteousness, and mercy. Talk about living different! Our entire country is based on celebrating competition. I’d say that’s living different! So the challenge this week is to be a loser. Not that you do poor work or become lazy, but that you are willing to lose something–simply saying “you’re right, I was wrong” or choosing not to strive for vain glory or selfish success, or something as simple as NOT competing with the world but competing for God. Pick 3 areas where you can see subtle (or blatant!) selfish competition, and commit to God to not compete any longer. The things of this world are passing away. Lose your life, compete for something eternal. Fight, strive, train, wrestle, compete for the glory of God. This won’t win you any medals, but you’ll have a joy and satisfaction of knowing that there is nothing you could ever to do add to your worth. It’s only found in Christ.