F is for Forgiveness through ordinary grace

If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

1 John 4:20

Not gonna lie: The way to my heart is through my man and kids. You praise them or compliment them or treat them nicely, I’ll love you to the end.

The opposite is also true.

You knock my man or dis my kids and this mama bear is coming after you like a spider monkey.

Of course I’m kidding, but you wives and mamas know, our love for our families is fierce.  And as our High School Pastor pointed out this past weekend as he preached, if we say we love someone and yet kick their kids in the shins and tell them to get lost, we don’t really love them.

The same is true, of course, with God. We can’t say we love God and yet still hate His kids. Knowing our own protective instincts, can you imagine how fierce God’s love must be for His kids? 

 Sunday’s message, on forgiveness, spoke hard words well. And one nugget that Jeff gleaned out of it has particularly stuck with me this week.

Forgiveness through ordinary grace. 

Here’s what I mean: Jeff was saying that often it’s easier to do a “big forgive.”  To take a giant step of reconciliation, make the hard phone call, do that one big act that crosses the bridge and brings a real step of healing. Not that that’s easy, but it’s big and clear and often a one-time act. But as Chris shared with us, Forgiveness is often a process. 

Often then, perhaps real forgiveness looks like daily ordinary grace … in the small stuff.

For example, let’s say you have divorced parents and deep down you believe it was really the fault of one. You may have “forgiven” them, had a good cry about it, reconciled, hugged, and moved on. And yet, perhaps you don’t call that parent as often? Perhaps don’t send pics of the kids their way at all? Perhaps don’t make as much of an effort to connect? Perhaps “write them off” a bit, believing they’ll never change?

Perhaps exclude them, just a bit, from ordinary life?

From experience (on both sides of the forgiveness issue) it seems to me that people who have been hurt, or who have hurt and need forgiveness (that would include all of us) just want to be included in ordinary life. Friends who have been hurt just want to feel included. Parents who have been estranged just want to feel a part of your daily life.

Offenders don’t want you to sound a forgiveness trumpet and extend your hand through pomp and ceremony — they just want you to text them some Tuesday morning to see what they’re up to and would they like to grab coffee.

Sometimes that’s the hardest grace to give — the ordinary kind. 

Perhaps it’s called Mundane Forgiveness. The quiet kind. The kind that might go unnoticed but builds a silent, miraculous bridge.

Jesus did this by cooking Peter breakfast.

After all have betrayed Him. Peter denied Him three times.  Abandoned by all, Christ rose again and appears. How? With pomp and trumpets sounding, declaring grandiose words on forgiveness? No, not really.

He eats with them.

Jesus’ method of reconciliation was surprisingly subtle. There were words to be sure — “Peter, do you love me?” — but His acceptance was shown through His presence more than His words.

He showed extraordinary forgiveness through ordinary grace. 

 {How might you do this today? Thanks for reading.}