Frustration and Growth

Right now Dutch is learning to write his letters. Against his will, I might add.  He is easily coaxed by Gummi-Vites and Omego-3 Gummies (I heart whoever created those things!), but if I simply let him do what he wanted he would do nothing but play with legos and mack trucks all day long.  And yes, I’m all for Delight-Directed learning, but I simply try to give him about 15 minutes a day where he works on his verses, copies letters, practices sounds, etc.

All that to say that Dutch gets easily frustrated.  Just as we all do when learning something new. When it was his shoes, he would crumble in a heap of tears when he couldn’t get his heels in and the backs of his shoes would get all squished.  Now it’s frustrating when he can’t make the pen make the curve of the Q or when he can’t remember which way the bump on the b goes.  Of course it’s no big deal. He’ll learn.

Lately I’ve felt like that a bit. I think, I hope, that God is growing me. Challenging me. Maturing me. He’s probably doing the same in you, yes? He’s promised to do that so I trust that He is. Is there something you don’t understand right now? Some prayer that seems unanswered? Some irritating issue that doesn’t seem to dissolve? Chances are God is growing us.  And chances are we’re frustrated by it. 🙂

Just as every day I seek to give Dutch new challenges, new things that he can do on his own, God is entrusting us with more and more responsibility, challenges, opportunities to trust Him in new ways.  It’s funny to read blogs from just last year and remember the HORRIBLE time I was having with potty-training.  Talk about frustrated! We were both in tears most of the time and there was always poop in some corner of a room.  It was awful.  But now?  It’s funny to even think of him in diapers–now Dutch not only uses a toilet, but he makes his own bed, brushes his teeth, gets dressed, clears the table, helps unload the dishwasher, puts away his laundry, recites verses, knows his letters and numbers–Wow!  It’s so encouraging to simply look back over a year and see all the ways that he has grown. But you know what? Every single one of those things began with frustration. Not a single one did he get perfect the first time. In fact, not a single one of those things did he actually want to do, as he tends to be very resistant to trying new things. (gulp, he gets that from me.) But, a year of frustration and practice and the viola! … there’s growth.

It’s not really any sort of crisis going on, just a sense that things don’t seem as easy and clear-cut as before.  Then today I read this in the book Spiritual Leadership:

We naively think that the more we grow as Christians, the easier it will be to discern the will of God.  But the opposite is often the case. God treats the mature leader as a mature adult, leaving more and more to his or her spiritual discernment and giving fewer bits of tangible guidance than in earlier years. (121)

Talk about timely. That’s exactly how I was feeling (thanks for that bit of tangible guidance, God!). I used to feel like God was always giving me such clear bits of tangible guidance, confirmations, etc.  Certainly He still does, but it sure does seem a lot foggier out here as the years go by.  Anybody else?

Interestingly, I also came across an article written by my brother, on Confirmation Bias. While pride is what pushes us to simply seek those opinions which fall in line with our own beliefs, it is also immaturity.  As a child, I like many clear and easily discernible directives from God. And, I like for every bit of input in my life to confirm whatever direction I am taking.  It is humbling, maturing (and terrifying!) to not only walk a path that is not clear but to also take time to investigate other paths along the way.  Yikes!

All this to say that growth and frustration go together.  Often when I say I want “peace” what I really mean is that I want everything to be crystal clear and I do not want to hear any opinions that contradict my own.  Above all I do not want anyone to contradict or criticize me or my choices. That, of course, would be the opposite of peace! Or would it?  Dutch would certainly be at peace spending his whole life tinkering with legos and having me get him dressed and make his bed. If he never had to try writing his letters he would never know how hard it is to make the curve of the Q.   But that would not be life.  He has to grow up, and so do we.

Is there frustration in your life right now?  I pray, then, that the Master is at work in the growth process.  And I pray we will continue to walk in the fog when need be, by faith, and humbly listen and understand those contradicting views, knowing that we are safe and secure in the One who orders our steps. Who knows, we may even be spiritually potty-trained one day.